---Title---

Evangelical History - Chapter 3
A Ranma/Evangelion crossover
By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton

---Tri-Gan Apartments, late morning---

	Sunlight came in through an open window, refracted from the numerous
skyscrapers erected all over the city.  The insidious light crept along the
ground, eating up the darkness, until reaching a huddled mass of blankets and
sheets that was once a freshly made futon.  In its stead now lay sheet atop
blanket, atop sheet, atop blanket, atop futon; the occupant seemingly unaware
she was now solely resting on the carpeted floor.  A few strands of purple
hair peaked out from the mass of bedding, then a slender hand, a few mumbled
swears, then finally a head.

	Misato as a rule was not an early riser, her late working hours prevented
that.  At times she would sleep at work, slumped over a technician's console
or in the infirmary, someplace no one would look.  Now because of the damn
sun, she wouldn't be getting anymore sleep that particular morning.  Yawning,
she idly scratched her stomach, she walked towards the bathroom.  Her uniform
was crumpled in a pile next to her bed and she was dressed in a white sports
bra and pink cotton panties.  The bra did nothing to conceal her scar nor did
the panties do anything for her modesty as they were so small and sheer that
purple hairs stuck out from the double-layered crotch.  She was just opening
the bathroom door while scratching her breast when Asuka walked by with a
bucket of bathing supplies tucked underneath an arm.

	"G'morning Capt. Katsuragi."

	"G'mornin' Asuka."  She entered and stripped down, tossing her
underclothing into the hamper.  After soaking for a good long time, then
stepping out feeling refreshed, she noticed that Shinji's familiar washing
hamper had disappeared, leaving her underclothing on the blue tile floor.  As
she tried to fathom when the bathroom tiles changed color, she noticed that
her drying rack was gone as well.  Shrugging, she picked up her clothing then
shuffled back to her room, still mulling that thought in her head.  

	As her foot entered the room, the first thing she noticed were no beer
cans strewn across the floor.  Assuming that Shinji cleaned her room the
previous night and thanking her lucky stars that her special 'toys' were safe
in her closet where he never looked, she picked up her bottle of gin from
under the desk.  Thus it came as a surprise to her when it turned out to be a
very nice cognac.  Shrugging again and not willing to go without being at
least partially inebriated, she finished off the bottle and wiped her chin
with her arm, burping loudly.  She brushed off her clothes from the previous
night, dressed, then left the room again.

	"Ya want any breakfast?"  Asuka and Ranma were sitting at the kitchen
table, fried fish, miso soup, rice, and pickles set before them.  A third
place was set as well.

	Misato staggered into the room, waved half-heartedly at her co-workers,
and opened the refrigerator.  Three doors, not two; one full of food, one full
of drinks, and the last full of alcohol.  Her mind still in a hangover haze,
she simply thought that Shinji bought a new refrigerator.  She'd have to talk
to him about not spending her money so frivolously, that was money she could
be spending on better snacks and quality alcohol.  Popping the top off a can,
Misato drank the beer with her full morning haste.  After a satisfying burp,
she looked around again, this time with conscious eyes.

	She continued to look from Ranma to Asuka to the space where Pen-Pen's
fridge usually sat.  Then she turned to look back into the blue tiled
bathroom.  She continued to look from one to another for two more minutes, her
mind still hiccuping on the logic of her situation.  Ranma and Asuka were
simply sitting and drinking coffee and tea respectively when Shinji walked in
the door, carrying a plastic bag of vegetables.  Ranma motioned him to put it
down and eat.  He did so.  Misato noticed that Shinji just walked in, and
frowned.  That wasn't right at all...Shinji should have been here from the
start and Ranma and Asuka should have walked in, there was something
really-...oh.  

	"WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!?!"

	"Uh, Ranma picked you up from the bar down the street, you'd fallen down.
He offered to cook breakfast for all of us too."  Shinji sat down with another
setting, gestured to a seat, one which an incoherent Misato couldn't help but
take.  "Are you hungry?"

	"Yeah...I'm in Ranma's apartment?"  All she received were stares from her
hosts, stares which seemed to ask 'you just figured that out?'  Shinji shook
his head then whispered something into Ranma's ear.  "I think I'm gonna need
another beer."  One was already in front of her thanks to Shinji's morning
ritual which consisted of:  Wake up, wash, wake up Misato, make breakfast,
feed Pen-Pen, wake Misato, eat, set beer on table, wake Misato.  Her shaking
fingers grabbed the can of beer, German beer by the smell and not Yebisu,
guzzled the beverage and let out a rousing belch.  Asuka looked at her with
one eye larger than the other, appalled that Misato could ever have been
tactical operations chief.  Shinji simply ate.  With reluctance and no small
bit of embarrassment, Misato began to eat.

	"Don't worry about the beer Shinji, I always keep a lot in the house,
Asuka knows how she gets after drinking.  And I think I can handle my
alcohol."  Ranma finished in record time and sat around, making small talk.
"So synch tests are today, hmm?  How exactly do they do them around here?"

	"We're put in an entry plug, then run through a Eva simulator.  Sometimes
Dr. Akagi makes us take 'special tests' meaning we take them nude."  Shinji
sipped his soup and finished the fish.  "Wow Ranma that was really goo-"

	"We have to what!"  Asuka's cry startled all around her, even Misato who
was wondering how her clothes had come off last night.  "I'm not taking a
synch test naked, no way!  It's bad enough they take so long anyway but to sit
in there naked for two hours?  I refuse!"  She stormed out the door, headed
for parts unknown.

	"Don't worry about her, she sometimes gets like that.  Let her cool down
and she'll be fine by the time we get to headquarters."  Ranma polished off
his second helping and washed the dishes, playfully splashing Misato with cold
water to wake her from her trance.  "Anything wrong Misato?  You seem a bit
_cold_ today."  He laughed at his own joke.

	"If you brought me here, why'd you take off my clothes?!  Did you think
just because I'm drunk you can take advantage of me?  Huh?"  She was ripping
mad now, her breasts jouncing up and down with every breath. Veins popped out
from her forehead, and an angry snarl began at the back of her throat.  Even
Ranma was scared.  "To think I actually though you were a nice guy!  To think
I thought you were cute!  To think I was fantasizing about your ass!  What the
hell was I thinking?"  Ranma and Shinji were wise enough to blush at her last
three statements, knowing that if she were in the right frame of mind she'd
never have said them.

	"Wait just a minute Misato!  Let me explain!"  Ranma reached forward to
grab hold of an arm, accidentally grabbing hold of something far more
sensitive.  He froze up like a deer in the headlights, premonitions of history
repeating itself came to mind.

	"You...you...you, I'm so angry right now I can't think of anything to
say!"  She threw a punch, her fist a blur, which had the delightful (to her)
result of Ranma being embedded in the far wall.  She threw her chair back
under the table and made way for the door.  Grabbing the manual lock, she
slammed the door, drawing a wince from the two males present.

	"She'll be back."  Ranma pried himself out of the indentation, turning
his attention back to the dishes.  Misato was acting too pertinacious for her
own good, luckily he had NERV security install cameras in his hallways.  He
had left the bedroom door open when he'd put her down last night.  "I wouldn't
worry about that."  He said with a secretive smile.

	"How can you be sure?"  Shinji was genuinely intrigued, how did he know?
Was it some kind of extra-sensory perception?  Just then the door slid open
slowly.  Purple hair sprouted from the crack.

	"I...kinda forgot my keys, Shinji would you open the door?"  Ranma
allowed himself a smug smile, not unlike another member of NERV.

---Pribnow Box, Central Dogma.  Several hours later---

	"Anyhow Ranma, when'd you sign up for NERV?"  Misato was over at Ritsu's
desk watching the pilot's synch-tests.  The omnipresent coffee carafe sat by
her side.  "It didn't have any start date in your records."" This surprised
her.  Usually NERV employees records had some kind of start date, in fact only
Gendo Ikari, Kouzou Fuyutsuki, and Rei had no record of their beginnings.  To
not have one meant either you were involved before NERV was formed or you were
so important your files were wiped.  Somehow she doubted the latter.

	Picking an empty coffee cup (the one without dancing cats on it) he
emptied the remainder of the carafe, carefully placing it back under the
coffeemaker for a refill.  "I didn't really sign-up.  I was with the Katsuragi
Expedition during Second Impact as a computer technician assistant to Dr.
Katsuragi, whom I assume was your father?"

	"Uh...yes."  She fiddled with her white cross.

	"I was one of the only survivors, aside from you I guess.  Funny, that, I
never heard that his daughter survived...anyway after that I worked for
GEHIRN, then NERV."  He took a sip from his cup, blanched, then spit it out
all over the floor.  "What the hell is this!?!?"  The fluid in his cup was
unlike any lifeform encountered by the foolish man, it was thick, almost a
viscous.  "What is..._this_?!?!"

	"Um...it's called coffee, you ever had any?"  Misato watched as his face
went blue, then red, then green, then back to blue before settling on a pasty
white.  "What's wrong?"  She sipped her cup, nothing seemed wrong with it in
her mind.

"N-nothing...it kinda reminds me of stuff my fiancˇe...er...someone I know
used to make."  He dropped his cup on the floor, hastily kicking it under a
console.  "I t-think I'll just make my own...heh heh!"  He walked across the
room whistling nonchalantly and left for a moment before returning with a cup
of coffee from the break-room two doors down.

	"So you were there with my father, huh?"

	"I remember that day very well.  Your father was a very brave man.  He
sacrificed his own life for you."  Ranma sipped at his cup.  If Misato didn't
want to remember their meeting in the docking bay it was fine with him, she
probably had nightmares still...

	"Who's your fiancˇe?  Apparently she can't cook worth a damn."  She grew
a mischievous grin.  Ranma's face grew ashen, his eyes turning down,
penetrating deep into the murky depths of his coffee cup.  Akane had died
fifteen years previous, he had mourned for her in his own way.  For better or
worse he had dealt with his own personal ghosts, no matter how destructive
they had been in life, and knew that what he was doing now was for the overall
good of mankind.  "Someone I know?"

	"No...she was killed in Second Impact."  She immediately apologized,
stammering out her condolences.  Ranma bounced back, albeit not to the level
of gaiety as he previously displayed.  "No, it's alright.  It was a long time
ago, I've gotten over her ghost."  Suddenly an orange slime creature attached
itself to his waist.  "Aaahhh!!!  Jeez Asuka!  Did ya hafta get me covered in
LCL?"  The Second Child grinned impishly and wrapped her legs around his,
covering his pants in the slimy fluid as well before Dr. Akagi walked in with
a towel.

	"Aw c'mon Ranma!  I'm just happy to see my guardian!"  She threw the
towel over her shoulders and pinched his ass, drawing a startled yelp from the
recipient.  "See ya!"  She ran laughing from the room.

	"Remind me to tell her that pinching her guardian's rear is not
acceptable behavior."  He deadpanned, rubbing the seat of his pants.

	"Did you hear that Shinji-kun?"  Misato cast a withering glance at her
charge.

	"Wh-what!?  I-I-I never did anything like that!"  He sputtered.

	Ranma smiled brightly, catching on to Misato's playful nature.  "Then why
are you blushing?  Taking advantage of your poor, defenseless guardian?  I
never thought you'd stoop to that Shinji, I'm ashamed of you!"  He turned his
back to the pilot.

	"Ranma!  I never did anything like that!"  Misato began laughing,
slamming a fist on the console, and spilling coffee over the nearby
technician.  Ranma chuckled a bit, watching Maya and Ritsuko giggle in the
corner.  Nothing could save Shinji from the hazing for the rest of the day.

---NERV Laboratory, level 66.  An hour later---

	Ritsuko rarely ever analyzed the synch test results herself anymore.
Maya had taken over many of her simple duties as Gendo piled more and more
complicated DNA work on their department.  Rei's monthly physical examinations
were the only rudimentary task she bothered herself with any longer.  With her
assistant already finishing off the results, Ritsu turned to a more pressing
matter Gendo had differed to her.

	Scanning another ream of DNA patterns from the printer, Ritsuko circled
the missing codon pattern in red pen, then called up that particular strand on
her holomonitor.  Ranma's test results were becoming increasingly more
alarming the further she delved into his genetic structure, not only did his
genome match that of the fifth Angel but he was also the most fertile man on
the planet!  His physical endurance not withstanding he was a font of new
brain twisting puzzles for her to investigate.  She'd have to ask him about a
few...intriguing...results she'd culled from his sperm samples.

	The monitor beside her beeped in alarm as the MAGI completed analysis on
his blood sample.  Nothing out of the ordinary save a higher concentration of
white blood cells than normal, not all that surprising considering his
abilities.  Her brow furrowed, her glasses sliding down her nose.  The results
showed strange chemicals in his urine sample.  Berries and herbs seemed to
make the bulk of the anomaly, nothing truly surprising, fitness drinks were
becoming popular again.  Her fingers flew across the keys as the MAGI began a
scan of the components in the mixture.  Soma berries, Ceylon tea leaf extract,
gimmer root, nothing out of the ordinary.  She leaned back in her chair,
gently rubbing the bridge of her nose.  She cursed under her breath, bringing
up a holoscreen with the footage from Ranma's physical.

	"What're you looking at sempai?"  Maya's head popped up at her shoulder,
her eyes bugging as Ranma began to disrobe.  "Again sempai?  That's the fifth
time you've watched his tape!  Haven't you had enough?"  Blushing furiously,
Ritsu shut the window, turning to her assistant with a glare.

	"Have you finished the synch test results?"

	"Yes."

	"Then take them down to the debriefing room!  We don't have all day!"
She turned angrily in her seat, Maya's hurried footfalls echoing off the steel
walls.  As soon as she was sure Maya was away, she reopened the window to the
moment she left, watching as he gave his final sample for analysis.  Growing
more hot every moment, and looking around to check if Maya might have left
something she'd have to return for, Ritsuko began taking off her lab coat.

	Maya, who crept back to the laboratory, pressed her ear to the metal
wall, hearing her sempai's activities.  Sighing in exasperation, she proceeded
to the debriefing room, grumbling all the way.

---Debriefing room #6, NERV level 26---

	Maya stood next to Ranma as Misato read the results of the pilot's synch
tests.  Commander Ikari and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki were off at a UN
conference in Sweden.  Apparently NERV's actions during the Jet Alone fiasco
constituted an affront to UN procedures, never mind that they had averted a
nuclear disaster, Ranma was in practical command of NERV in their absence.
Attendance suffered as he offered the employees their vacation days which had
accumulated since NERV's creation.

	"Shinji your synch ratio had grown by 3% giving you a steady rate of
36%."  Misato patted him condescendingly on the head as he grumbled something
about Asuka distracting him.  She turned next to Rei.

	"Rei your synch rose 1%, giving you a ratio of 40%.  Asuka you have the
highest synch ratio at a steady 59%!  You should all be very proud!"  Asuka
cheered, jumping at Ranma, who dodged her attempts at a glomp, giggling and
shouting her praise.

	"See!  See!  I told you I was the best!"  She had grabbed her guardian's
arm, pulling onto his limb fiercely.  Crooning madly, she completely missed
Ranma's embarrassed gaze in Misato's direction, in the process also missing
Misato's understanding smile back.  The newly demoted tactical operations
commander dismissed the group giving them the rest of the day off.  Ranma
turned to follow his charge out when Misato stopped him.

	"Ranma?"

	"Yes?"

	"Ritsuko, Maya and I would like to invite you to our NERV bridge crew
poker party at my place tonight, the Children will be there too, so don't
worry about Asuka."  Misato fidgeted with the red leather straps dangling from
her officer's coat, her black one-piece dress pulled taut over her washboard
stomach.  Well, her _almost_ washboard stomach.  Her face seemed to betray a
small amount of anticipation.

	"Alright.  I'll see you around eight then?"  He flashed her a crooked
smile, buttoning her right breast pocket on her coat.  "I like my staff to be
perfectly dressed,"  he pushed the clasp of his tunic coat, "especially when
it gives me an opportunity to reprimand such a lovely officer."  He bent
conspiratorially towards her.  "Misato?"

	"What?"  Her ears were red from their close proximity.

	"Is the party BYOB or are you providing the drinks?"  He grinned like the
Cheshire cat.

	"Stupid lousy jerk!  You'll never let me live that _one_ time down will
you!?!"

	"Nope.  It's just such good embarrassing blackmail material."  He slapped
her on the back, not noticing her angry red aura.  "Besides, I really liked
the strip show you gave me!"

	The aura died down, her face instead sporting a dangerous grin and a vein
bulged grotesquely from her forehead.  "Oh d-did you?"  She turned to regard
him, her eyes flat and a pointed canine poking out from her lip.  "Well, then,
we'll just see who gets drunk first tonight...or are you afraid of me?"

	He frowned, no one ever called him a coward not even his family.
Grasping Misato's hand like a vise, all while grinning like an idiot, he
firmly shook it twice.  "I accept your challenge!  The loser has to strip
naked in front of the rest of us."

	"Hey wait a minute!  That wasn't part of the deal!"

	"Sorry, we already shook on it, 'guess those are the rules!"  He turned
to leave, waving behind him.

	"Alright!  You're on!"  She called as the doors opened before him.  "See
you tonight then.  I'll buy the beer."

	"Fine."

	"Fine."  Misato snorted at his retreating form, already walking towards
the door where Asuka waited impatiently.  She had planned on hitting the mall,
he planned on hitting the couch.  The life of a NERV guardian has both peaks
and pitfalls, Ranma was going to experience both.

	As the cold metallic clang of the doors echoed through the corridor,
Asuka clinging to his arm, Ranma smirked a bit.  Then laughed ever so softly,
Asuka worried for his sanity.  "It's nothing Asuka, just something Capt.
Katsuragi said today.  By the way, we're invited to her house tonight for a
little party."

	"A party?  Really?  This is gonna be so much fun!"

	"Glad to see you're getting along so well with the other Children, but I
thought you were going to 'show that Third Child who's the best?'"  He glanced
at her out of the corner of his eye, making sure to avoid the personnel
walking through the halls.  "I mean, you've killed one Angel to his three, I
guess you're really not the best."  He knew just what buttons to push.

	"That's nothing!  I have a higher synch ratio _and_ I've killed that
Angel single-handedly.  He's only killed those three with outside help!"  She
balled her hands into fists, vowing that someway or another, she would topple
Shinji from his throne.  Not too hard of course, he _was_ kind of cute...  

	As Asuka continued to berate herself for her weakness, Ranma's thoughts
returned to Misato.  She was alright he guessed, if just a tad
confrontational.  Well, he'd just have to teach her a little humility.  But
first...

	...First he had a pile of paperwork to go through as acting commander.
Asuka pulled on his arm as he flagged and walked around him, pushing him
forward with both hands.  She certainly didn't want Ranma entertaining any
thoughts about Captain Katsuragi...or Dr. Akagi, or Lt. Ibuki, or Sgt.
Watanabe...

	Back in the debriefing room, Misato began to chuckle, the gentle laughter
causing her shoulders to tremble ever so slightly.  Shinji began backing away
until his back in the wall, the dried LCL in his hair crinkling with the
contact.  When Misato had that mischievous gleam in her eye, Shinji began to
get very worried indeed.  The last time she'd looked at him that way Touji
almost had a heart-attack, a hormonally charged teen boy seeing the tactical
operations drunk in her bra and panties could do that. 

	She would beat Ranma at this, this was where she really shined!  Well, it
wasn't the best thing to be good at, actually it was more than a little
unhealthy but she would win, and that's all that mattered.  Turning back to
her own Child, Misato fixed him with a dangerous grin.  "C'mon Shinji, I need
you to help me at the liquor store."  Few words spelled doom in Misato's care
quite like 'liquor store,' well maybe that and 'cooking,' but it would take
Ranma a little while before he realized that.

	Shinji groaned, knowing all too well the fateful hand dealt to him.

---To be continued---

Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton
Skaiton@netscape.net