The Wandering Saotome part 2 By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton "Japanese" [Thoughts] (Footnotes or Author's commentary) ---Nerima, Tendo Dojo--- Genma lay sprawled on the porch as an overflowing gutter drenched him in sheets of icy rainwater. If the poor fool had been naturally asleep he would have awoken, but as his sleep was 'forced' by his wayward son's force-stick, he could not feel the rain as it sloshed over his form. His glasses fell to the koi pond below, a fat calico with long whiskers nibbling on a bow. As soon as the clock had struck twelve it had begun to pour, great gouts of cold water that soaked the grass and overflowed the gutters. Inside, behind the ceramic outer doors, Soun Tendo sat across from Ranma, Kasumi at his side, as the youth informed them on the horrible events leading to his rescue at the Mount. Ranma had grown steadily angrier with Genma, seething as he watched the idiot drenched outside. Only Kasumi's forceful discouragement saved the fat martial artist. Pak sat in the corner, it's red LED eyes following the conversation and recording the expressions and astral patterns of the Tendos as they spoke. "You say that Genma left you in China?" Soun stubbed out his cigarette, one more joining the pile cluttered in the ashtray. "I can't believe such a story son, my friend would never allow such a thing!" "But father, isn't this the same Genma Saotome who took his son on a training journey at an early age, away from his mother, never writing to the woman, and sending his bills to our house?" Kasumi sweetly said, bubbling with happiness, no matter the subject. "I'd believe poor Ranma's story more than that idiot's." "Kasumi! Don't speak of your father's acquaintances like that! Genma is a good friend, we both served under the master!" Soun stood stoically to the window, legs positioned as his raised a fist and gazed out at the non existent sundown, tears streaming from his eyes. "I will never ever forget!" [What is this man talking about? Forget what?] Ranma shook his head, hoping to never know exactly what the man was talking about. Pak jumped onto the table, legs folded underneath, as a black hold materialized an inch over his back shell. "Pak! Open the portal to Teh Sthlhu!" A shimmering cone of light exploded outwards from Pak's back, a whirling dervish of colored sparkles and pinpricks of green. "Kasumi? Would you like to go for a ride?" Soun wept incoherently as Genma slid down into the mud of the yard. "I'll show you what I meant when I said 'another dimension.'" Killer smile at maximum, it was just a matter of time before Kasumi gave in to his charm. A rose blush spreading warmth throughout her cheeks, Kasumi nodded, smoothing out her yellow housedress and laying her lacy apron over the couch. "I'd love to Ranma." She gave him a smile in return, white teeth sparkling in the glow of the fluorescent lighting. "Oh my! Will father be coming with us?" "I think he's a bit preoccupied right now." Ranma said dryly. "Alright then, I suppose I have enough time before Akane and Nabiki get home. Will this take long?" She grasped his offered hand, her foot disappearing into the colorful void of the gateway. "As long as you'd like it to." He clutched her arms, lowering her down until her feet touched the ground. "Do you feel that?" She blushed as if he'd been speaking of his warm hands wrapped underneath her sleeves, barely touching her chest. "I'm going to let you go now, just roll with it, the portal isn't far off the ground." Underneath her bare feet she could feel the soft blades of grass still moist with morning dew; it seemed impossible, yet here she was, body halfway beyond the floor, a heavenly young man grasping her bosom and lowering her to another world. She had to make sure it wasn't a dream. The soft landing on a cool meadow was enough to convince her. The sun shone brightly in the sky, a clear sky devoid of clouds, and birds chirped in the faraway trees. Her eyes round as saucers she looked up just as Ranma fell through the portal, rolling out of her way and coming to a halt a few steps ahead. It had to be real, her hands were wet from the dew collected on the blades of green all around her, her dress was soaking with moisture as well, surely a dream couldn't be this real! Ranma was dusting himself off as she sat shocked, thanking Pak for choosing the meadow as opposed to his bedroom. Who knows what kind of problems that would've caused. "Kasumi? Are you all right?" He took her shaking hand and helped her off the grass, trailing stray droplets of dew as she went. She seemed to look at him somewhat fearfully now, her dewy eyes shimmering in the sunlight. Giving her a reassuring smile her pointed towards the simple-looking stone cottage at the base of the gently-sloping foothills around them. "Are you up for a little walk?" Nodding in the affirmative, she was lead hand-in-hand to his home near the boarder with the Mystical Ruins and Stupar City, capital of Teh Sthlhu. Even from twelve miles away the military barracks and sheds which held the CHEPHAROS battleships(1) could be seen as gray blurs on the end of the green plains. The Mystical Ruins were home to the Druidic Warlords, a tribe of sorcerers who had long ago ruled the lands of Teh Sthlhu with their powerful Black magic, after the arrival of Emperor Maximillian they were all but extinguished. A few still lived in the shattered remains of their centuried temples, killing those foolish enough to invade their territory. The Ruins were in the centre of the plains, reasonably far enough from Ranma's domicile so that he was not bothered by the murderous old men. Even if the ruins held their share of dangers so too did Stupar City. Housing over twelve million sentient life-forms, the city sprawled over thirty miles in diameter, the centre for commerce and society in the Empire. Shades(2) and criminals from the city routinely fled towards the Mystical Ruins, hoping that the soldiers would not follow for fear of the Druids. While it was true that most times the soldiers fell back, but it was also true that the criminals never escaped alive from the temples where they hid. Ranma himself had never seen a Druidic Warlord but had heard tales of famous battles waged against them by the priestesses of Serenity, caregivers and stress relievers in the Holy Empire(3). As they had been a cloistered group since time immemorial they knew all the ancient legends and would share them with you...for a price. A passing cloud shaded them from the rays of sunlight, a gray splotch on the lighted plain. Kasumi looked up only to see that the cloud was a dragon flying overhead, copper wings outstretched and catching the air currents above. "P-pardon me Ranma...b-but is that a dragon?" The beast seemed to hear her as red eyes, sunken deep into the scaled hide, burned into her. It was a western-style dragon, stocky in build and short in neck, very much unlike the traditional dragons Kasumi remembered from her old children's books. In them, the dragon was long and serpentine, whiskered and elegant; this one was fantastic in color and wingspan. "Yeah. Must've just got back from the Sunken Graveyard." Ranma flashed an eye to the dragon, as if saying 'don't land now, later' then continued to the wooden door of his home. From what Kasumi could tell it was female, the obvious mammary glands on it's chest and utter lack of external sexual organs gave that much away, but it seemed to be waiting for something, waiting for them to enter the house. "Mind the door, it likes to hit people on the way in, yeah...the Sunken Graveyard. It's a place far north where an island nation was sunk by the Druids thousands of years ago. The dragons supposedly came from that civilization and journey from all over Teh Sthlhu every year on a pilgrimage to their 'origin.' Don't let it worry you Kasumi." He held the oaken door for her then slammed it shut, shaking a bit of dust from the doorframe. "Oh my! What a large house!" It was true, the living room itself (which they were standing in) happened to be twice as large as the house had appeared outside, elaborately decorated by golden murals of Teh Sthlhu history. There were chairs and cushions she'd never seen before, puffy silks and overstuffed loungers made from material that shimmered as you walked by it. A short table, vaguely reminiscent of a kotatsu, sat at the centre of the hodge-podge upholstery, a varied assortment of breads and fruits adorning it's mirrored surface. "Is this your house Ranma?" Of course she knew it was, but if she was going to marry him she'd just like assurances that soon this would all be hers. "Yeah. It was given to me by the Emperor Max, I...uh...sorta won it in a bet." He had the good conscience to look sheepish as he explained how he'd conned the Emperor of all the lands. "He'd wagered that I wouldn't be able to defeat a dragon that'd been beatin' up his outposts. He bet the house, I bet my servitude for three years." He noticed the incredulous look his guest gave him. "Don't look at me that way Kasumi! We were both sorta drunk at the time! Sensei told me I had to 'loosen up' so he spiked my drink!" He drank? Well, that certainly was alright once in a while, but she'd have to make sure it didn't become a habit. Sake or wine with dinner was fine, or as a nightcap, but excessive drinking she'd not allow in her home. [Oh my! Where did that come from? Why am I getting so...so...possessive? I do hope I do not become like Akane!] Ranma watched her shudder slightly. "Anyway, I won the bet...er...well I won the bet alright? So Max gives me this cottage right near the Mystical Ruins, but guess what? The damn place is crawling with Spugorths and Lachta(4)! So I get a team of Serenity's Priestesses in here to clear out the darkness and webs but of course they want their payment..." He blushed, not wanting to continue _that_ particular part of the story, "...it's kinda different...ah...you know?" She obviously didn't but nodded anyway, she'd get him to tell her later. "So this whole place is a folded dimensional pocket, that's why the house is so big inside and so small outside. It was nice of Max to give me a dimensionally friendly plot of land though." Ranma just cursed himself for telling her the story. How in Hrothgar's name(5) would she have any idea what he was talking about? Lowering his head and hitting himself a few times helped, as did the reassuring smile she flashed him as they sat in the living room. "It basically comes down to this: if you spread out the actual living space inside this house it'd be five times bigger than the outside." She smoothed out her skirt as she sat at the table, marveling at the exotic foodstuffs laid out before her. They ranged from yellow fruits vaguely resembling a screaming man's face to orange fruits whose stalks became natural straws. Ranma withdrew a short, bent-bladed knife from his tunic and began cutting up the hard-looking cheeses on the wooden platter, ripping a chunk of dark brown bread, he handed it to her. "Uh...what time is it, do you know? Akane and Nabiki will be coming home from school soon and I should start dinner." Kasumi nibbled gingerly at the sour bread, waiting for him to hand her a piece of the cheese. Honestly, would it be so bad for her father to order out? She was, after all, eating with her new fiancˇe, it was just so inconvenient at times! "How will we get home?" "I suppose you mean that now since Pak is not here to transport us how will we get back? Don't worry Kasumi, I can open the portal any time so you can still make it home on time. And it's about 74:91 breems past the dawning, or 4:00 p.m. your time." He finished slicing the fruit and cheese for her and watched her apprehensively begin eating it. He began to chuckle. "Don't worry Kasumi, I've been eating it for ten years, it won't hurt you." He smiled as she looked up at him with a few deliony seeds sticking to her face(6). Brushing the sticky seeds from her face, he didn't notice the blush creeping from her neck. "Let me show you." He took her by the hand again, her body becoming uncomfortably accustomed to his hands on her skin, and walked over to the foyer. Kasumi looked in wonder at the intricate runes embedded into the iron sheeting of the walls. Patterns wove and repeated themselves countless times around the hall, but strangely enough she couldn't seem to recognized where one line ended and another began. It almost looked...skewed. Ranma took hold of her other hand now, extending their limbs to form a rough square in the air between them. He began to chant, words Kasumi could either not hear, or understand; it did have the effect of opening the space between their arms to her living room, her father still crying at the porch. The image wavered slightly, his grip on her palms wavering, shaking as his power and concentration melted, before disappearing altogether. Winded and sweating, Ranma leaned on Kasumi as they stumbled back into the den. "Whew...must've...lost power. I gotta remember to eat before I try that again, my body isn't producing the energy I need to open the portal." He relaxed on a cushion as Kasumi seemed to space out. It was then that a sweet, trilling, soprano sang from an adjacent room. "Ranma dear! Supper's ready!" From what she assumed was the kitchen, Kasumi saw a short, lithe woman enter from behind half-curtains. "Is your guest going to be staying for dinner?" She was about Akane's height with coppery metallic hair and red eyes, twin horns jutted from below her hairline and a copper tail twitched behind her. She wore a silver bikini with lavender colored translucent silk spilling from her thong to just above ankle length. It was obvious she wasn't wearing anything other than the silver clasp below the waist. "Greetings to you, land-walker. I am Dan-Tae, Princess of the House of Copper Victory."(7) Wiping her wet hands on a dishtowel, she offered a well-manicured hand out to her guest. Kasumi did not feel threatened by the creature as some might think, intrigued and curious about her relationship with Ranma, certainly, but not frightened. She smiled at the girl(?) and shook her hand daintily. "Dan-Tae this is Kasumi Tendo, a fiancˇe from my homeworld. Kasumi meet Dan-Tae, the dragon I stopped to win this house." He looked around nervously, not wanting Kasumi to freak out when she heard the unusual marital practices of this world. Of course when Dan-Tae was at home, that meant... "Ranchan! / Ranchan! / Ranchan!" Three voiced chorused from upstairs, accompanied by the thumping of three pairs of feet dashing down the stairs. Kasumi was chatting with Tae so she didn't hear the cry until three naked girls glomped onto him. Coeffe, Hiwt, and Merac were overjoyed to see their friend return after so long; a tangle of green, gray and blue limbs tackling Ranma across the floor. Laughing at the attention, Ranma helped his childhood friends off the floor and introduced them to Kasumi. The girl in question still had no pangs of jealousy, just a strange emptiness as she realized they'd all have to share. Extremely ecchi thoughts concerning a queen-sized bed and a lot of cooking oil came to mind before she could think, thoughts that would be sure to haunt her dreams that night. "Ahem...Kasumi? This is Coeffe, Hiwt and Merac, they were the first friends I made here." They all smiled broadly and bowed in unison to the bewildered girl, multicolored strands of hair tangling in the effort. "Don't worry, they're elemental sprites. They represent Nature, Stone, and Water respectively." After the introductions were complete Tae ushered them into the dining room for a hot dinner and they talked long into the night. One question still plagued Kasumi's mind however, where did she fit in all this? ---Tendo Dojo, 4:03 p.m.--- Soun had dragged Genma's soggy body in after awhile, deciding that Genma better be ready when Nodoka comes or there'd be hell to pay. He hadn't even noticed Kasumi and Ranma's absence until two minutes ago when he'd asked for help dragging his old friend inside. He felt empty inside now, any time he remembered training under the master he felt dirty and ashamed afterwards. Similar to women's reactions to the perverted master of Anything-Goes Martial Arts. As such it came as quite a surprise when Ranma and Kasumi appeared out of nowhere, walking into the dimension as if walking through a doorway. A swirling mass of bleeding background colors and the shimmering of clear water accompanied their arrival, a whirlpool of magic until the anomaly itself vomited out his daughter and her fiancˇe. They were laughing, actually laughing; Soun hadn't heard such beautiful, trilling laughter since his poor wife's demise. His eyes did noticed where Kasumi's hands were straying as they phased in, trying desperately to contain his delight at the progress they were making. Why, by morning they should be man and wife! "Where have you been Kasumi? Ranma?" Soun tried to pull off the 'strict father who frowns upon pre-marital sex' act, but ended up crying at the prospect that by tomorrow the schools would be joined. If only Nabiki and Akane would find nice boyfriends... "Ranma was just showing me his house," she paused to burp silently, "and where he lives. We were just eating dinner father, that's all, really." It sounded like she desperately wanted to convince him of their innocence. They probably didn't do anything anyway, so Soun decided to let it go. Ranma sat next to him and Kasumi opposite, just close enough that Soun could barely smell the liquor they'd been drinking after dinner, bottles of a special ale Tae's tribe made since the dawn of time. She had to admit, it was quite good. The faint smell of liquor started the alarms in Soun's head, a chain reaction that lead to his secret store-houses of ki. Veins began to throb menacingly on his forehead as his head began to grow, his tongue becoming forked. Rapidly entering full-on demon head mode, Soun leapt up from the table. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DAUGHTER RANMA!!!!I HOPE YOU HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR ALL THIS!!!!" Ranma and Kasumi sobered almost immediately as he pulled the vibro-stick from his tunic. With the tell-tale sound of air being compressed, he thrust it into the forehead of the demon head. A loud pop resounded through the house and Soun Tendo was once again human. "Don't worry Mr. Tendo. Kasumi and I just ate dinner is all, we had a little ale afterwards but that's perfectly acceptable in Teh Sthlhu. Don't worry." He stowed the vibro-stick back into Pak's storage space, patting the creature affectionately on the muzzle, it's LED eyes twitching in happiness. "So when was my Mom supposed to arrive?" Kasumi smiled shyly at him, as her omnipresent blush deepened under his scrutiny(phonetic pun intended). "She said that she would be on the three o'clock train from Juuban, so she should be here in a few minutes."" [It'' so hard to believe I spent the night talking and laughing with complete strangers in Teh Sthlhu only to come home two minutes later than when we left! It's just so confusing, does this mean we could conceivably live forever?] All at once Genma sprang from the floor, a wild grin plastered on his face. Dripping water over the floor, he leapt to the corner of the room and grabbed Pak before springing back to the porch. "Hah! Foolish boy! I was just feigning unconsciousness to hear your plans, now your magic will be mine!" He knocked hard on Pak's outercasing, somehow expecting it to open the portal to a fat, dishonorable martial artist. "Damn you! Open up! I want all the riches!" Ranma didn't make a move to stop him, seeing Pak's LED optical array go flat-eyed was enough for him to know that Genma wouldn't get away with it. A distinct hum began in the beast's throat, a mechanical growl that rose in volume until various vases were shaking from the vibrations. Genma froze as he realized that perhaps angering the magical-creature wasn't a good idea, a breakthrough which came too late as Pak opened it's titanium maw and bit down on Genma's rather large spare tire. Kasumi and Ranma shared a laugh as Genma screamed and tried to pry the metal demon off his girth with a spoon, the trip to Teh Sthlhu seemed to have calmed Kasumi, made her forget her priorities in this world and indulge herself. In the broad scheme of things this was something only an extraordinary person could do, Ranma was far beyond extraordinary he was a free spirit. Soun smiled faintly as he realized that some part of Ranma's carefree nature had rubbed off on his daughter. "We're home!" Nabiki's voice carried from the foyer, almost drowned out by the howls of pain from Genma and the incessant rattle of the storm gutters outside. "What's that noise? Do you hear that?" Akane folded up her umbrella, sliding it into the rack next to the door. It was almost as if someone was screaming... "Whoa. Yeah I do Akane, what do you think it is?" Nabiki's eyes squinted at the four shadows moving about in the tearoom, three sitting, and one dancing about with some kind of weird growth on its stomach. "You'd better go check it out." Akane opened the door to the tearoom only to facefault as Genma continued to dance around with a pangolin biting his gut. Nabiki contemplated facefaulting until her eyes came to rest on their other guest. Her first thought was of course: [WHAT A HUNK!!!!] "Will somebody help me!?! Why isn't anyone listening to me!?! Can't you hear?! Ahh!!!" Genma continued to roll around on the floor, Pak securely attached to his projecting gut. "Get it off me!! Get it off me!!!" Soun stood up, dodging Genma as he ran around the room, and gestured to his daughters that they should sit. "Today I received a postcard from my friend, Genma Saotome. Years ago we had planned to unite out school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, however Genma informed me that his son, Ranma, was dead." Ranma spoke up at this point. "Clearly the rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated." Soun coughed, glaring at the boy for interrupting him. "Anyway, as you can see Ranma is here and alive. So, who wants to be his fiancˇe?" He smiled, knowing that if worse came to worst, he would have two out of three. "Tendo! Tendo! Help meeeeee!!!!!! It's biting my stomach!!!!" "I'll take him!" Nabiki raised her hand while sneaking a suggestive glance at Ranma's cute butt as he bent over to taunt his father. "Akane doesn't like boys and Kasumi's-KASUMI!?!?!" Her eyes bugged out as Kasumi rose and began to throw herself at him, draping her primly dress all over his arms, chest, legs...oh! And cute but too! "Get it offffff!!!!!!! Get it off me!!! Anybody!!! Help me!!!!" "I'll be glad to take him father, clearly Ranma needs more of a mature wife, someone who can be with him during the hard times." Completely out of character for Kasumi, Nabiki thought she saw a suggestive lip-lick as she'd said 'hard times.' Shaking that line of thinking however came yet another visitor at the door. All present in the room froze, Kasumi in Ranma's arms, Nabiki latched onto Ranma's arm, Ranma trapped by the Tendo sisters, Akane verbally abusing her family, Genma writhing in pain, and Soun stoically smoking a cigarette; he knew to stay out of his daughter's affairs. "Is anyone home? Genma?" A tall shadow of a woman descended on the group, a glinting sword wavering in her hand. One word cut through all those interested in Ranma. Crap. ---To be continued--- I never imagined this series becoming such a hit! I just thought I'd dabble in the old 'Ranma in a magical world' genre but I've received so many responses to just this one body of work that I'll be continuing this as one of my primary series (along with Evangelical History, Destiny Lost and Where are We Now). As I'll be creating this world from scratch, most things will be explained as they are introduced, however, some things will need extra clarification, that's where my new handy-dandy glossary of Teh Sthlhu comes in! (1) CHEPHAROS Battleships: These are like flying boats, they patrol the entirety of Teh Sthlhu and are manned by the military police. Think of the Roshtarian flying ships from El-Hazard. (2) Shades: Hired assassins from the Guild of the Shadows, basically a mercenary group. Shades are biologically engineered creatures that meld with dark colored objects, making them perfect assassins. (3) Priestesses of Serenity: Believe in two things, holiness through white magic and the propagation of their order. These magic users are healers, doctors, therapists, historians, story tellers, geishas and prostitutes. Since they are descended from the original practitioners, they believe that priestesses should only come from the blood of their ancestors, but you can have a child by an outsider. For some strange reason they only have female children. Their 'payment' for their services is usually in the form of a one night stand with the employer. Now you know why Ranma didn't want to tell Kasumi about the...uh...payment. (4) Spugorths and Lachta: Typical beings that haunt old, broken down places. Equivalent to gigantic silverfish and spiders. (5) Hrothgar: Yes, this _is_ the same Hrothgar that is in Beowulf. He was brought to Teh Sthlhu by Maximillian to help defeat the Druidic Warlords. (6) Deliony: A fruit common to the forests surrounding the Mystical Ruins. Imagine an avocado-shaped fruit with cantaloupe flesh and pomegranate seeds inside. (7) Dan-Tae of the House of Copper Victory: A dragon girl of about seventeen. Those of the House of Copper Victory are copper-colored dragons who fought against their Druidic Warlord masters during the Great Upheaval. She is the princess of her tribe and looks very much like the girl from the Dragon Half OAVs. Different colored hair though. On a more professional note, if anyone never received an email response to any question, please re-send the message and I'll try to get through them as fast as possible. Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton Holy Scribe and Second Disciple The Church of Kasumi and Ranma vze2jcwc@verizon.net