"A Hell of a Life"

by Shaule Sachs

= - = Part 3 = - =


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 Version 1.1
 #include <ahoal/author_notes.h>
 #include <mega_crossover/std_disclaimer.h>
 #include <alternate_universe/std_disclaimer.h>
 #include <ranma/std_disclaimer.h>

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     Within a universe, the Flow of Time moves on no matter what happens. And yet, there are areas that seem as if Time had never touched them. One such magical place was a little park, just outside of Tokyo. Both tourists and natives came to this park on a regular basis. Each person left with the feeling that the park was Blessed or had some special Favor with one of the kami...

     If you asked anyone, they would have agreed that it was a very 'magical place.'

     And on this night, it truly was.

     The first sign that something different was going to happen was the appearance of a blue circle that was two meters tall. It seemed to swirl from the center outward like a reversed whirlpool. The odd thing about the circle was one could only see it head-on. If you looked from behind or the sides you wouldn't see it. The circle continued to swirl for a few moments, as if waiting for something.

     A hand reached out from the swirling energy followed by an arm attached to a man. The man, human, five feet, nine inches tall, black hair in a pony-tail, looked around. His blue eyes seemed wary and tired, yet, he moved like a dancer... with grace, pose, and ease. His eyes took in everything, missing nothing. He seemed to taste the very air. He smiled. His waved his right hand at the circle and it shrank until it was a mere dot, after which it simply vanished. With one last look around, the man sat down to meditate and wait for the dawn.

= - = - = - =

     The dawn came and with it various people began to enter the park. A young American girl noticed a man was sitting on the grass in a weird position. Curious, she went over and asked in English, <<"Whacha' doing, Mister?">>

     The man answered her in English, <<"I'm mediating.">>

     <<"Why?">> the toddler asked.

     <<"Ah, that is a good question,">> the man answered. <<"I meditate to relax... to think... to ponder...">>

     <<"Why?">> the toddler asked again.

     The man simply shrugged his shoulders and smiled at the girl.

     <<"Mindy!">> an older woman called to the child. She was obviously the child's mother. She apologized to the man as she picked up her daughter.

     As Mindy was leaving she said to the man, <<"Okay. I love you. Bye-Bye.">>

     The man smiled.

     After watching Mindy and her mother leave the park, the man got up, brushed his clothes, straightened the large pouch he was carrying on his side, and walked towards the Nerima Ward.

= - = - = - =

     As the man walked through the city, he smiled and said hello to the various people he passed. Although busy, most people would return the man's warm and friendly greetings and then continued what they were doing, feeling slightly better about themselves afterwards.

     As the man got closer to Nerima, the man's smile grew until he was just outside the gates of Furinkan High School. Hesitating only for a millisecond, the man walked into Furinkan High's school yard. The various students who were waiting for the bell stopped talking as the man walked in. Each and every one looked like they've seen a ghost. The man smiled and continued on.

= - = - = - =

     "SAOTOME!" Kuno screamed as he charged the man. "You dare to show your face..."

     The student body blinked and Kuno was face-first in the dirt, knocked-out.

     One moment Kuno was charging and screaming and then next... he was unconscious on the ground face down. Everyone was amazed and in shock. For a few moments, Furinkan High School was absolutely quiet, only the sounding of the school bell brought the students back to life as they ran to their homerooms.

= - = - = - =

     Ranma sighed and continued on his way. He had only defend himself when he realized that Kuno was going to try to harm him. //Saotome, he called me,// the thought flashed through his mind. //Am I Saotome Ranma? Or just Ranma, as I call myself now. Does it matter?//

     As the thought went around in his head, he arrived upon his destination. He couldn't help but feel slightly betrayed by the World.... After everything that had happened to him, the World could have at least changed his homeroom slightly... But no, once more the World proved that It didn't care about Ranma by leaving the room exactly as he last saw it so many millennia had passed... Still he was there... why he wasn't sure... nor did he care... So he simply shrugged, sat down in his seat, and closed his eyes to meditate.

     He felt each person's ki as he or she entered the room and sat down at their assigned seat. He smiled slightly as he noted Akane entered the room and sat behind him. It was then that he realized that he had made himself blend into the background causing most people not to notice him. He had done it simply out of habit.... A habit that had saved his life a number of times.

     It shouldn't have, but Ranma got a small thrill as everyone gasped when he said 'present' when his name was called for attendance. Without looking he could tell that everyone was surprised to see him. He could feel Akane's glare on his back as well as the look of wonderment on Ucchan's face.

     Class went on as normal. During the breaks between subjects, various students tried to ask him questions but Ranma simply gave them all a 'Look' that made them return to their seats.

= - = - = - =

     Before English Class, with only a small amount of anger in her voice Akane asked quietly, "Where have you *been* for the last month?"

     "A month?!?!?" Ranma exclaimed quietly as he turned to face Akane. "I've been gone only for a *month*?!?!?"

     A number of students, including Ukyou, turned and looked at Ranma wondering about his statement that he had only been gone a month. //Maybe less time as pass for Ranchan,// Ukyou hoped.

     All the students leaned in their seats to try to hear what Ranma and Akane were talking about but they couldn't. Surprisingly, although they see Akane and Ranma's mouths were moving, no one could hear anything. It was if they were watching a television show without any sound.

     Slightly worried Akane replied, "Yes! So where have you *been*?"

     Ranma laughed and answered, "Hell.... Heaven.... and a number of Universes inbetween..."

     "Nani?!?!?" exclaimed Akane.

     Ranma began with, "After fighting George..."

     "Who's George?" Akane interrupted.

     "George was the Oni that brought Happosai-sensei and I to Hell," Ranma calmly answered. "George lead us to the Demon Queen Abere, who had cursed Happosai-sensei into becoming the pervert we knew. There we fought her for six months after which we spent our time trying to get back..."

= - = - = - =

     As Ranma was talking, Hinako-chan-sensei skipped into the room, looked at the clock, and called the class to begin. Giving up on trying to overhear Ranma and Akane conversion, the class (minus Ranma and Akane) sat forward, brought their English books out, and awaited for Hinako-sensei to begin the day's assignment.

     Seeing that Ranma wasn't paying an attention to her, Hinako-chan-sensei tried to get his attention by saying, "Saotome!"

     After spending a few moments trying to get Ranma's attention, Hinako-chan-sensei took out a five yen coin and said, "Happo Goju-en Satsu."

     The class watched as Hina-chan-sensei began to suck the ki out of Ranma.... Even after few moments Ranma didn't seem to be affected. In fact, his ki seemed to change color from the normal blue to a brilliant white. A grayish-color glow began to envelop Hinako-chan-sensei. As she became an adult, a glow began to surround her completely all the while Ranma continued to talk to Akane. As the glow moved from a light bluish color to an off-white, the bell rang signaling the beginning of class. When the bell stopped ringing, Hinako-sensei stopped glowing. At which point, Ranma turned around, got his English book out of his desk, and said in English, <<"Shall we begin?">>

     Hinako-sensei shook her head slightly as if to clear it, then nodded at Ranma saying, "Hai.... Today we will look at page eighty-six..."

= - = - = - =

     As English class went on, the class watched Hinako-sensei to see when she would change back into her child-form, only she didn't change for the entire class period. Even more surprising, Ranma actually participated in the class, mostly though to correct Hinako-sensei, who still was slightly dazed, accepted his corrections without comment.

     When the class period was over, Hinako-sensei walked out of the classroom in such a way that it was obvious she was avoiding Ranma. The rest of the morning went uneventful.

= - = - = - =

     At lunch, Ranma and Akane sat under a tree. They sat quietly as Akane ate her lunch.

     After almost finishing her lunch, Akane noted that Ranma didn't seem to have anything with him to eat. Just as she was about to offer what remained of her lunch, Ranma asked, "Would you like an orange?"

     "Huh?" Akane asked puzzled.

     From his pouch Ranma took a large orange out, peeled it, and handed half to Akane saying, "They're good..."

     And he was right, the orange Ranma gave her was the sweetest, juiciest orange she ever had. It was larger than any orange Akane had seen before. Most oranges she had previously were only the size of a tennis ball, but the orange Ranma handed to her was the size of a large softball. After swiping the juices from her face with the napkin Ranma gave her Akane asked, "Ranma? Where did you get the orange?"

     "An old friend of mine once quoted to me an adage he had learn from an old friend of his... 'Things are never so bad if you have an orange on hand,'" Ranma replied absently.

     Curious, Akane asked, "An old friend?"

     "His name was Pug[RW]," Ranma answered. "I met him in my Travels..."

     Akane could hear the capital 'T' and wondered how long it took Ranma to return...

     Akane was startled when Ranma began to answer her question that she didn't realized she had asked out loud with, "Whose to say? There is no Flow of Time between the Worlds and each Realm has it's own Flow... And as I told you, I've been to a number of Realms..."

= - = - = - =

     The rest of the school day went uneventful until World History class. The class had an exam that day. Although he had missed the last month worth of class, Ranma didn't complain about taking the test much to the surprise of everyone. Equally surprising, Ranma was the first to finish the exam. At which point he closed his eyes and sat still for the remaining of the period. To which both Ukyou and Akane wore worried expressions on their faces...

     Both Ukyou and Akane had the same incredible thought, //Ranma! Sitting still for more than a minute?!?!?!//

     After World History class, things went as they usually did. Except when the instructor called on Ranma... No matter what question was asked, Ranma had an answer, sometimes vague and sometimes very detailed, not once did he give his 'usual' answer of 'Huh' or 'I don't know.'

     When the final bell of the day rang, Ranma was the first person out the door. Both Akane and Ukyou were miffed at Ranma's disappearance until they both noticed that there was note laying on each of their desks. Each note had their respective names on it in a perfectly stylized Kanji... too perfect for Ranma's sloppy handwriting that they knew and yet... somehow, it was obviously Ranma's handwriting.

     Akane's note said that Ranma had to do something and then he would meet her at home. It was signed 'Love, Ranma."

     Something in Akane's heart melted...

= - = - = - =

     Nabiki was puzzled and she didn't like that. The school gossip said that Ranma was back. Not only was he back but he had defeated Kuno so fast, no one knew how he had done it.

     Usually, after one of Kuno's defeats, he would skulk for the rest of the day vowed vengeance on 'that evil sorcerer Saotome.' But today, he was positively beaming with joy. Unlike his usual rude remarks to his fellow students, Kuno was being pleasant to everyone. When she asked why he was so happy, Kuno started to say something but then uncharacteristically he would close his mouth without saying anything and he would dramatically hold his heart in his hands. No matter what she did, Kuno wouldn't tell her what was going on.

     Curious, Nabiki followed Kuno around school. During lunch, she realized that some point previously, Kuno had gotten a note. When he could have gotten it, she didn't know. She had been watching him since homeroom and no one had approached him during that time. More importantly, despite her best efforts, she couldn't find out what was written in the note. Kuno guarded it too well.

     When the final bell rang, she followed Kuno to the clearing in the trees near the school. With a start, she realized it was the same clearing that Kuno had first met his 'Tree-Borne Kettle-Girl,' also known as his 'Pigtail Goddess,' and known to everyone but Kuno as Saotome Ranma.

     As if the thought had summoned her, onna-Ranma came walking into the clearing. As Nabiki looked on she noticed there were some changes in Ranma aside from the fact that he was in his cursed form. Gone was the pigtail that was Ranma's trademark. Onna-Ranma's hair was long, flowing and obviously styled. There was a 'sway' to onna-Ranma's walked. Onna-Ranma was wearing a dress, a peasant's dress with dirt stains, but a dress nonetheless. If Nabiki didn't know better, she would have swore onna-Ranma was a real, young woman and always had been.

     Kuno rushed to onna-Ranma and hugged her. To Nabiki's surprise onna-Ranma melted into Kuno's brace. So shocked was she that she almost missed Kuno speech about how he had awaited this day. Kuno concluded with, "Now, you're free, my pigtail goddess."

     Onna-Ranma laughed. She stopped laughing suddenly and her features took on a very serious expression. In a formal voice, she said, "Yes... I'm free now. Therefore I must warn you, Kuno-kizoku."

     "Warn me?" Kuno asked confused. It was only now that he noticed the peasant dress on onna-Ranma. Upon seeing it, he took an unconscious step back.

     "Yes, warn you," onna-Ranma repeated.

     "About what?" Kuno asked bewildered.

     "See! It is as I feared," onna-Ranma answered.

     When Kuno didn't say anything, onna-Ranma continued sadly, "You don't understand...."

     Kuno shouted, "Understand what?"

     In a low voice onna-Ranma said, "That we can never be together..."

     "Nani!?!?" Kuno cried.

     "You must think of your Family!" onna-Ranma replied. "You must think of your Honor!"

     "What about my family?" Kuno asked puzzled.

     Onna-Ranma sighed and said, "Are you not, Tatewaki of the House Kuno.... Are you not, Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High?"

     Both Nabiki and Kuno were puzzled as to where onna-Ranma was going. Confused Kuno replied, "Yes..."

     "And what of I?" onna-Ranma asked. "I'm simply Tendo Ranko... I have no House. I have no title..."

     Frustrated onna-Ranma sighed again and asked, "Don't you see?"

     Nabiki was shocked. She saw where Ranma was going now and wished she thought of it. She also noted that Kuno was beginning to get an idea where Ranma was heading but he seemed to refuse to believe it.

     In a gentle voice, onna-Ranma said, "You're nobility... I'm nothing. You cannot marry below your station."

     "But I love..." Kuno began but onna-Ranma interrupted him with, "Love... Is a good thing. But it doesn't pay the bill when your father disowns you. When society rejects you. To marry me, will disgrace your family. Can you truly inflict such a scandal on your family name... Will you dishonor your ancestors in such a matter?"

     "But..." Kuno kept repeating as he took another step away.

     "Yes, the World is not fair," onna-Ranma continued on. "If it was fair... where's the challenge? We must overcome our temptation. We must rise above ourselves and honor our ancestors."

     "But..." Kuno repeated his mantra even as he took yet another step away from onna-Ranma.

     "No, we must be strong and fight our temptation," onna-Ranma said. "I'm sorry to lead you on, but what choice had I? Now that I'm free I can tell you the truth of the Sorcerer's plan to destroy you and your family. But we won't let Him destroy such a noble House as the House Kuno, shall we."

     Filled with despair Kuno sighed and said, "No! You are right... The spells that evil Sorcerer Sao--"

     "Don't say his name," onna-Ranma implored. "Don't invoke his name.... He will Hear and come for me..."

     "But I'll protect you," Kuno began.

     Onna-Ranma just snorted and said sarcastically, "Like you've done in the past?"

     In a more gentle voice, onna-Ranma continued, "No... It is best if you forget all about me... and the Sorcerer. You must go on with your life. Haven't you heard, the best revenge is to live the best. No matter what, he will remain a mere sorcerer... But you! You are of noble blood. You will go on and fulfill your noble purpose. Go! You must go on... All I ask is that you think of me fondly."

= - = - = - =

     With that Kuno turned and walked away. Once he was out of ear-shot onna-Ranma laughed and said, "What a sap."

     Looking towards Nabiki's hiding place she said, "You can come out now, Nabiki-chan."

     Startled, Nabiki fell from the tree she was hiding behind. Dazed, she walked over to onna-Ranma, who was lifting her dress over head revealing the red Chinese outfit that Ranma normally wore. After removing the dress, onna-Ranma gently folded the dress and placed it within a large pouch she was wearing on her side.

     Nabiki had a thousand questions she wished to ask onna-Ranma but she was unable to voice them due to shock. What's more, she looked away only for a few moments but when she turned back towards Ranma, onna-Ranma was now male and he had one of his rare smiles on his face. It was the type of smile that made even Nabiki's knees weak.

     Ranma saved her from fainted by taking her arm and asked, "Shall we go?"

     The journey home for Nabiki was interesting....

= - = - = - =

     "I'm home!" Akane said happily as she walked in.

     Kasumi noted the smile on Akane's face and felt herself reflect that smile back at Akane. She knew, if she was patient enough, Akane would tell her why she was so happy.

     Kasumi didn't have to wait long, Akane burst out, "Ranma's back!"

     "That's nice, dear," Kasumi said motherly.

     "To celebrate... I'm going to make Ranma dinner," Akane said proudly.

     "Ummm," Kasumi began, not knowing how best to put it. Kasumi sighed and continued, "Let me help you..."

     "I can do *it*," Akane replied defensively.

     Wisely Kasumi said, "Yes, dear, but dinner is only a few hours away... If I help, it'll take only half the time...."

     Somewhat reluctantly, Akane agreed.

= - = - = - =

     "I'm home," Nabiki stated as she and Ranma walked through the door. Upon seeing that there was no one to greet them, Nabiki asked rhetorically, "Where is everyone?"

     Ranma answered, "Kasumi and Akane are in the kitchen and your father is with my parents in the dining room."

     Ranma had answered with such conviction that, although she had been with Ranma since they left the school grounds, she believed him. Besides, knowing where everyone was, was a small thing after the events she had just saw.

     "I'll be in the Dojo until dinner," Ranma said as he headed there. Nabiki headed to her room.

= - = - = - =

     Hesitantly, Akane entered Nabiki's room. She saw her sister at her desk looking over some book. Nabiki was muttering something too softly for her to hear.

     Although she wondered what Nabiki was saying, she interrupted her sister by asking, "Where's Ranma?"

     Nabiki's eye blinked and she had a lost look on her face. After shaking her head, Nabiki replied, "Oh... He's in the Dojo."

     "Thanks," Akane said as she headed there. On her way out, she thought she heard Nabiki sigh and ask, "How did they do that?"

= - = - = - =

     As Akane entered the Dojo she saw Ranma performing some kind of kata. Or, at least, she thought it was a kata. There didn't seem to be a pattern to it. As always, Ranma made the martial arts look both easy and graceful. Akane could have stayed there watching Ranma all day long, in fact she had stood still for the last twenty minutes, but she could dimly hear her sisters wondering where Akane and Ranma were so she said, "Ranma... Dinner's ready."

     "Okay," Ranma replied. "I'll be right there.... Have to wash up."

     "Okay," Akane responded. She turned around and headed back to the dining room.

     Both Kasumi and Nabiki were already seated at the table. Upon seeing Akane but not Ranma, Kasumi asked, "Where's Ranma?"

     With a slight surprise in her voice, Akane answered, "He's washing up...."

     "Ranma? Washing without being told to?" Nabiki asked in wonder. Looking pointy at Akane, she asked, "Are you sure this is *our* Ranma?"

     Akane bit her lip, shrugged, and told her sisters about everything that happened in school.

     "That doesn't sound like Ranma," Nabiki began.

     Kasumi responded with, "Sounds like he's finally matured. Being in Hell does that to a person."

     Both Akane and Nabiki looked startled at Kasumi. But before either could pursue Kasumi's statement, Ranma came in and sat down next to Akane.

     As Kasumi served everyone, Nabiki couldn't help but stare at the food. One look at it and she knew her younger sister had helped in cooking it. She could tell by the unnatural colonization of the meal...

     Akane waited patiently (at least for her) for Ranma to taste her meal. After ten seconds (a new record), she demanded, "Well?"

     Without hesitation, Ranma used the chop sticks to pick a small piece of something no longer identifiable and placed it in his mouth. He chewed it for a few moments, paused, and chewed it some more.

     Angrily Akane shouted, "Ranma!"

     Ranma paused a moment and said, "Well..."

     Akane leaned closer to Ranma and began to say, "Ran--"

     "I suppose now would be as good a time as any for presents," Ranma said cutting Akane off.

     "Presents?" both Akane and Nabiki asked happily. A smile of fond memories appreared on their faces.

     Nodding, Ranma said, "Yep... I had some time while I was in some of the Worlds I had been to.... When I saw these items I just had to get them for you all..."

     Reaching into his pouch, Ranma pulled something out and handed it to Kasumi saying, "For you...."

     Kasumi stared at the object Ranma had just handed to her. She thought the object was made of crystal, but she didn't think crystal had that many shades of red. The oval base resembled a bird's nest. With a start, she realized that the nest was on fire. Whoever the artist was, this masterpiece had somehow captured the flames as they seemed to leap out of the nest. The largest flame, located in the center, shooting straight up, seemed to change into a bird with its wing expanded as if it was launching itself into the air.

     So intent was Kasumi on the art work, Ranma's voice startled her as he said, "It's a phoenix rising from its pyre of flames."

     Kasumi could only nod and said, "Thank you."

     Taking the art work, Kasumi headed to her room with a tear in her eye.

     Nabiki and Akane watched their older sister leave, Nabiki became nervous. She turned to Ranma who was giving her something. It was a statuette of a dragon on a hill of some kind. The hill, upon closer inspection, was made up of various colored pebbles. With a start, she realized that the red pebbles were rubies, the white ones were diamonds, the gold ones were gold coins, the blue ones were sapphires, and there were many other precious gems present as well. She had to wonder how the artist got such detail into the statuette that fit into her hand and was only fifteen centimeters tall. As she headed for her room, Nabiki held the statuette to heart.

     Akane watched her older sister, Nabiki, walk away with her gift. Akane had saw the tear in Kasumi's eye and wondered where it had come from... Nor did she understand why Ranma gave a sculpture of a phoenix to Kasumi. She thought she understood why the statuette of a female dragon sitting on her horde reminded him of Nabiki but she didn't think it made such as good gift as Nabiki seemed to think. She waited patiently as Ranma watched Kasumi and Nabiki's departure.

     After a few moments, Akane demanded, "Where's my present?"

     "Huh?" Ranma asked confused.

     "Baka!" Akane screamed. "You gave my sisters... something. But you don't have anything for *me*?"

     Ranma's response was simply a frown on his face. Sighing, he reached into his pouch and held up a statuette and a gift-wrapped book, both of which Akane grabbed and walked away from him.

     Once safely in her domain, Akane looked at the gifts. The statuette was a tigress with her front, left paw out as if striking something. As Akane unwrapped the book, she saw the title and her eyes narrowed even more.

     The title of the book was 'Seeko's Guide to Cooking for the Culinary Challenged.'

[=== End Part 3 ===]

[=== Glossary ===]

Baka
"Idiot", "Stupid"
-chan
"little" (when added to a name it is a sign of affection, usually used only with children and girls)
Dojo
A training hall
Iinazuke
Fiancee
Kami
A god, demon, or spirit
Kami-sama
Head god
Kanabo
A large spiked iron bar
Kanji
Chinese characters used in Japanese writing
Kata
Form (martial arts)
Ki
Spirit; soul; life force
-kizoku
Nobility
Nani
What
Neko
Cat
Okaasan
Mother
Oneesan
Older sister
Oni
Devil, Orge
Onna
female
-sama
"Sir; Madam" (formal) (sign of respect)
-san
"Mister; Miss"
-sensei
"Teacher; Master" (title used when speaking of or to members of certain professions (lawyers, doctors, etc)
Shogi
Japanese chess
[=== End of Glossary ===]

[=== Appendix: Riftwar Saga ===]
[RW]
_Riftwar Saga_
Created by Raymond Feist

Characters Used
Pug and Nakor
[=== End of Appendix: Riftwar Saga ===]


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Last Updated: Tue Dec 23 18:53:11 CST 2003
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