Change, Grow, To Live by Shaule Sachs Part 1 Continuation of "Sunset, Sunrise" by Shaule Sachs = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = Version 0.4 = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = - = Ranma Saotome was depressed. It was a typical day in Nerima... Before breakfast, Akane had once again taken his joke too personally and bashed him with that hammer that appeared out of nowhere. His father still hadn't realized that he had been holding back for the last ten years. The only challenge his father presented to him was trying to make it appear that his father presented any challenge... which he hasn't for the longest time. School was boring as usual. Kuno was somewhat entertaining... he still hadn't figured out how Kuno choreographed the thunder with his speeches but that was the only surprise Kuno was capable of. During lunch, Shampoo once again tried to drug him into loving her. Like there was such a thing as a 'instant love potion...' He couldn't understand why Shampoo thought he would be interested in a person that was willing to use drugs him to get him... not to mention all the other things she's tried. Even assuming he could put up with the weak-willed Shampoo, he would never be satisfied in such a small, backwards village like the one she lived in. Of course, Akane couldn't even figure that out... And she once again bashed him with that hammer of hers. The fact that Akane didn't know him that well, even after all the adventures they had been together hurt more than the hammer did. At least, Ukyou understood him better than Akane did... which didn't take much. Unfortunately, he still thought of his 'Ucchan' as his old boyhood friend, and not as the beautiful young woman she grew up to be. While his Ucchan was smart, she had a blind eye to the fact that he saw her as the boy he assumed her to be when he first meet her and didn't have any more sexual feelings towards her than he did towards Kasumi... Thinking of Kasumi, he knew she was hiding something... what and why, he didn't know. But he trusted her that whatever it was, it wasn't malevolent. He saw Kasumi as a mother-substitute since he hardly knew his own mother. Even now, after Nodoka had accepted him, even with his curse, he didn't spend much time with her. He knew that it was only the Tendos' fast talking on his behalf, especially Akane and Nabiki stating that either of them would accept him as their husband, that saved him from having to commit seppuku. It wasn't 'Motherly Love...' Whatever that was. Nodoka was even worse than his father and Mister Tendo when it came to his 'engagement' with Akane. Genma got to go home but he, Ranma Saotome, had to stay with the Tendo and spend all his time with Akane... Of course, Akane resented their parents' decision and blamed him for it, as usual. Ryoga, Mousse, and the others, of course, took whatever he did in the worst possible scenarios.... He couldn't even believe some of the things they tried to accuse him of... There were too many 'of course' and 'again' in his life he thought as he laid on the roof watching the stars. He had been spending a lot of time on the roof. It was the one place he could be alone... with only his thoughts and reflections of the day to keep him company. Most of the time either Gosunkugi or Nabiki would followed him for the sake of taking pictures of him. They knew that pictures of him, in his proper form would sell better than those of in his curse form would. Oh, they tried to hide but he knew they were there. Nabiki would deny it and who cared what Gosunkugi did. But it had gotten to the point where he started skipping pebbles to see how many ricochets he could get before hitting either of them. He could understand Gosunkugi's insistence of continuing, after all, Gosunkugi didn't have anything else to do and he could use the money, but Nabiki? She didn't even sell all the pictures she took. She seemed to be making some sort of game out of it. She would follow him until he either confronted her or caused her to give away her position. Each confrontation grew more tiring for Ranma. Each time, Nabiki would deny what she was doing and Ranma's temper would grew shorter. What's worse was the fact that no one believed him when he complained about it and would take Nabiki's side when she denied it despite the small bruise from the pebbles which proved that she was lying. Everyone thought the worst of him... ... And he let them. It was simpler than trying to change their minds. No one listened to him... they only heard what they wanted to hear. Not for the first time, Ranma contemplated running away... Unfortunately, if the one thing Ranma had learned from his father, it was that running away did not solve anything. Part of his problems stemmed from his father's running away instead of confronting his problems. The more Ranma thought about his life the more depressed he got. He wanted to cry but he had grown up thinking that crying wasn't a 'manly' thing to do... He thought of splashing himself with cold water to get around that but it felt like he was running away by doing that. So he just laid back and watched the stars... At some point, Ranma must have fellen asleep because he had woken up. Looking around for the source of disturbance, he found a young woman with white hair and a tan complexion watching him not a meter away. The woman was quite beautiful, exotic, and mysterious, yet he didn't feel any of the usual seventeen year old hormones moving... Yes, he had admitted to himself that Shampoo and Akane were beautiful and it was quite pleasant when they held him against their bodies. But now, it was like looking into a mirror at his cursed form... Sure, it could turn the heads of any guy, except Ranma, since he was the one wearing the form. Not feeling conversational, Ranma ignored the strange woman and once again watched the stars. Without looking he could tell that the woman was doing the same... They stayed like that for what to Ranma seemed like eternity until he couldn't take it any more. Sighing, without turning to face the woman, he asked, "What do you *want*? Everyone wants *something* from me..." Under his breathe he added, "... and I don't have anything left, even for myself..." "My! What cynicism from one so young..." the woman responded. "You must have had a hard life..." "You don't know the half of it!" Ranma exclaimed defensively. "Try me," the woman gently replied. So Ranma did... Ranma spent the next few hours telling a stranger, who was simply there one moment and not the moment before, all about his life... he left nothing out hoping to both to shock the woman and to finally confide in someone... He told the strange woman thinks that he didn't tell anyone else... not even Ucchan, to whom he told most things to. At what point Ranma began to cry he didn't know. He only noticed the tears when the strange woman started to brush them away and hold him like he needed to be held, like he wanted his mother to hold him. As he continued with his life story, the strange woman gentle rocked him and made comforting sounds. When Ranma finished, he was surprised that the woman didn't make any comments, any judgments, or anything at all like everyone else did. She only continued to hold him and rock him gently. Ranma's spirit felt better than he had ever had getting everything off his chest. Unexpectedly, he asked, "I just wish, for once, to know why my life is so hard. Why can't I have a normal life?" Ranma heard some thunder, looked around didn't see any indications of it raining any time soon, so he fell asleep in the strange woman's arms, who began to cry and kept repeating softly, "I'm sorry..." [=== End of Part 1 ===]