- My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by
- A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want
it to do.
- A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't
- I bet the human brain is a kludge.
- Marvin Minsky
- I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.
- The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.
- Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can.
- Any given program will expand to fill available memory.
- Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do.
- Ted Nelson
- Any program that runs right is obsolete.
- Artificial Intelligence: Making computers behave like they do in
- CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
- Diagnostics are the programs that run when nothing else will.
- f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
- I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
- Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
- My computer NEVER cras
- Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.
- Long computations that yield zero are probably all for naught.
- Meets quality standards: Compiles without errors.
- Backups? We don't *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER
- All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
- System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.
- Unprecedented performance: Nothing ever ran this slow before.
- Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct,
not tried it.
- The only thing good about "standards" in computer science is that
there are so many to choose from.
- If only women came with pull-down menus and online help.
- If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming
must be the process of putting them in.
- If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0