Paris caught Chakotay's eye as he strode over to the ready room and nodded to the big man, half in greeting and half in invitation. Tom had just enough time to take the seat behind the captain's desk before the door chimed.

"Enter."

Chakotay walked in and stiffly took his seat, almost causing Tom to sigh. The big Indian never seemed comfortable in this room. Outside he was generally more relaxed, even when Tom was around, but here in the captain's ready room he always walked on eggshells.

"So Chakotay, tell me how the pilots are faring."

Chakotay slid a padd across the desk, "Fairly well, all things considered. You were right about Baytart by the way, he has the makings of a first class pilot..."

Tom caught Chakotay's voice trailing of and knew there was a 'but' coming.

"But he refuses to listen, he won't accept advice or even corrections. While he seems to learn fast when it comes to tactical maneuvering I can't seem to get any strategic thoughts into his head."

Paris nodded. "I know. He treats the ship like it's a one-man fighter. He doesn't understand that the resources of a ship this size can't be handled by one man."

Tom stopped for a moment, accepting Chakotay's nod of agreement before continuing. "What's your recommendation?"

Chakotay didn't hesitate. "Cross training. We cut back on his flying time and start him training in another department. Best case we scare the hell out of him and get him thinking again, worst case we can change his duty assignment if he doesn't shape up."

Tom thought for a long moment. "Sickbay."

"What?"

"The Doctor has been requesting more personnel to train as nurses. Let's give him Baytart."

Chakotay winced. "Seems harsh."

Tom agreed, spending time with the Doc wasn't a pleasant way to pass a shift. However the Doctor needed nurses, so Voyager needed nurses. And Baytart is available.

"We need the medical personnel, he's available. Sounds like a good match."

Chakotay nodded reluctantly, at the very least Baytart would be useful as a field medic on away missions. The rest of the meeting went by quickly as Chakotay filled Paris in on the moral of the Maquis portion of the crew and gave him a brief overview of the status of his department. Fifteen minutes later Chakotay had left and Tom was working on various reports that protocol required.

It was several hours later when the comm chimed and he found himself staring at the doctor's image over the emergency holographic medical channel.

"Captain, you are late for our meeting."

Paris looked at the chrono and winced, he had been here for four and a half hours already. the Doctor was the last thing he needed to deal with.

"All right, Doc, I'll be right down."

A brief walk later found him being pressured into a biobed as the doctor spoke about ship's medical buisness.

"Doc! This is a meeting, not an examination."

"Sorry. I neglected to mention that you are also late for your physical. My files indicated that that was an effective method of coercing a captain to attend his physical. I believe that section was written by one Doctor Leonard McCoy."

"Of all the sneaky tricks-"

"I'll take that as a compliment coming from you, Captain, after all it was you who decided to hide the ship's command codes in my data banks."

Paris finally surrendered to the tests as the Doctor droned on about Sickbay's business and its model efficiency. About twenty minutes into both the examination and report the Doctor said something that brought him back from the daze he had allowed to set in.

"As to Captain Janeway's condition, I may have some cautiously good news. I have found a treatment which should repair the damage done during the accident."

At the look on Tom's face the Doctor shook his head. Unfortunately, it requires a compatible donor and I have found none on Voyager. I'm beginning research now into immune suppression and enhancing the compatibility of a donor's tissues. It will take time."

Captains Log Supplemental 74218.2 Thomas Paris Reporting,

We haven't seen any sign of Kazon puruit for the past two weeks, leaving me with a nagging worry eating at what little peace of mind I may have been able to enjoy. We know that both the Kazon and Seska are desperate to lay their hands on any Alpha Quadrant technology they can, and yet they seem to be giving Voyager a wide berth now. I have a bad feeling, however, that their agenda will soon cross ours again xhoweverx. Seems to work better in the middle of the sentence

It had been a quiet shift until Harry Kim shouted with excitement two minutes earlier. Tom closed his research and twisted in his seat to look back at Kim's position.

"What is it, Mr. Kim?"

Harry didn't answer right away, instead he ran the sensor data back through his console for the fifth time.

"Harry."

Kim finally looked up, "I'm reading a faint warp signature ahead. It looks like a Federation signal."

Silence reigned on Voyager's Bridge for a long moment. Finally Paris broke the silence with a sharp order.

"Harry, send the vector data to the Helm. Chakotay, lay in a pursuit course. Maximum warp."

Voyager flashed to high warp, arcing in a long gentle curve as it accelerated along the barely discernable warp trail at warp nine point nine seven five.

* * *

Voyager's image flickered slightly as it dropped out of warp, its pivoting nacelles dropping into their sublight position as the Starfleet ship powered down its engines, allowing the sleek Federation ship to coast into the star system the warp trail had led them to.

"The signal is coming through stronger now, but It's still pretty old. They must have crossed through here at least a week ago."

Paris looked over the data from Harry's station, "Any inhabited planets in this system?"

There was a brief pause, "I'm reading a satellite defence and communication system around the fifth planet and its moons. Half a dozen warp trails in the immediate area, but low power stuff, say warp two point five tops."

Paris nodded, his mind drifting as he examined the sensor data. "Make for the fifth planet, best speed."

"Aye, Sir."

* * *

"Alien Vessel, decrease speed to one tenth light standard and adjust course to match the patrol vessels flanking you. Do not power weapons or we will open fire."

The hail had come in a few moments after they passed the orbit of the seventh planet, originating from one of three tiny patrol ships that had popped out of a debris field surrounding the sixth planet.

"Friendly aren't they?"

Paris restrained a frown, Chakotay's flippant attitude bothered him but he couldn't pin down the reason. "Understandable. The Delta Quadrant is a fairly rough neighborhood to live in. More nasty groups fighting over territory then home, they haven't reached a state of equalibrium yet."

Tom turned to Harry, nodding almost imperceptably.

"Channel Open, Captain."

Tom smiled in satisfaction, he enjoyed the smooth communication he had with Harry. He had noticed the same easy flow with Sawra as well, and had also begun to cultivate it with B'Elanna as well. Maybe it's time to work on Chakotay and Tuvok. Tom barely stifled the chuckle that threated to destroy his carefully constructed air of command.

"Understood, patrol vessel. Federation Starship Voyager complying with all instructions."

A tap on the shoulder and a nod received was all Tom needed to convey his order to Chakotay and receive confirmation back. Maybe it's not so farfetched an idea after all.

Voyager cruised into the system, Chakotay matching course changes with the three escorts as they led her to a partially constructed station orbiting the fifth planet's largest moon.

"Incoming hail, Captain."

Tom nodded to Harry and returned to the Captain's chair before replying. "On screen."

"Audio only, Sir."

"Speakers then."

"Aye."

"Federation Starship Voyager, please state your purpose for entering this system."

"We are interested in trade and any information you might have on a vessel that passed through this system about a week ago."

"Confirmed, Voyager. Do not deviate from present course. Any unannounced moves and we will open fire."

Tom acknowledged the warning and closed the channel, then turned to Tuvok with a question on his lips. A question, he realized, that had been anticipated. "They do not possess sufficient weaponry to threaten Voyager... Captain."

Tom just nodded and retook his seat, at warp two point five they were barely beyond the original warp tests that Cochrane made after his first test run with the Phoenix. If the majority of their technology was at the same general levels then their sensor technology was still likely to be archaic sublight systems. It would be at least two weeks before they got the first clue of Voyager's true capabilities, namely her true speed and acceleration potentials. Even so, Tom paused to admire the sleek lines of the escort craft pacing Voyager. It's been a long time since we designed anything quite like those babies. Classic lines, the type you only see built by a species that haven't yet come to terms with the word vacuum.'

Voyager followed the patrol craft to the station, entering an obviously incomplete docking area before securing the ship.

Tom glanced around the Bridge a moment before speaking. "Three-person away team. Ensign Kim, Commander Tuvok, you're with me. Rawlins, you have the Bridge."

* * *

Captain's log, Stardate 74221.3, Tom Paris recording

I don't think I've ever seen a people so paranoid in my life. The Delta Quadrant is a tough place to live I'll grant but this was ridiculous. Still they have an interesting code of courtesy, alone among my team I was permitted to keep my tricorder, commbadge, and hand phaser. The rest were beamed back to Voyager after an attempt to confiscate them by the local praetorians. The Council was, unfortunately, less then helpful concerning the federation warp trail we followed into this system. The ship apparently passed through at high warp, causing quite a stir among the local defence forces. Only a very low resolution scan was made and that, unfortunately limited to visible spectrum light, was acquired nearly four days after the ship passed by a telescope in orbit of their homeworld.

Tom Paris got up from his terminal, stretching in a vain attempt to dislodge a tension-induced cramp from between his shoulders. He had just returned from his away mission and hadn't even bothered to remove his equipment yet. Sometimes the job he was doing seemed to overwhelm his senses, like it was flooding everything he knew or thought he should know and replacing the knowledge with a filmy sort of grey area that had once been limited to his dealings with his father.

Sighing he wandered over to his bedroom, staring out across his unkept bedcovers into the depths of space beyond the transparent aluminum bulkhead. The doppler shifts of the stars always relaxed him when he was at the helm but as captain each color shifting point of light was merely another potential threat, or at least a potential situation waiting for a solution. Turning his back on the stars, he found himself staring into his own blue eyes, yet another set of problems to solve.

Here on Voyager he had found responsibility, something he had been running from most of his life. His Starfleet career had certainly wound up in places that even his father had never envisioned. Mostly because he didn't want the lives of an entire ship depending on his every move. Tom snorted, his old commander had always found that funny considering what usually did depend on his missions. For a while he had thought that he had managed to dodge the bullet that was Starfleet, only for the damn thing to boomerang around and hit him square in the back.

"Who am I kidding? I can't keep this up. I need Captain Janeway back." In frustration Tom threw himself back onto his bed.

He never landed.

The crowd in Sandrine's quickly gathered to watch Tom Paris play himself in a game of pool. As the cue ball cracked across the table Tom found himself examining the room more than paying attention to the game. He could see Nicoletti chatting in the corner with Ayala, Carey was sharing a joke with Carlson, and unless he was mistaken, the Delaney twins seemed to be double dating Dalby and Gerron. He shook his head as he lined up his next shot. This ship was paradise. Maquis and Fleeters sharing drinks in Sandrine's. So this is what would have happened with Janeway in command.

A flicker of emotion caught his attention, bringing his attention back to the game at hand for a moment. Tom found himself staring at his double, even as his double stared hard at him.

It was Lt. Paris who broke the silence first, "I take it Sandrine's attracts a different crowd on your ship."

Tom nodded, almost imperceptibly but he knew that his counterpart would catch the motion. "The Maquis normally occupy Sandrine's during beta shift. That's when Chakotay's off duty. Fleeters tend to use the other holodeck mostly, but they do stake a claim here during alpha and gamma shifts."

His words were soft, and carried barely far enough for his double to hear them, but they did reach one other person.

"I thought you said that you didn't spend time in the holodecks."

Tom turned to B'Elanna, sooner or later I have got to remember how well she hears things. "I don't"

"Then how do you know which groups spend time here and when?"

Tom pondered how best to answer that, but was cut off by a voice behind him.

"He's the captain." Janeway answered Torres, even though she had missed the statement that had prompted B'Elanna's question, "And it's his duty to know what his crew are doing, thinking, and even feeling. Preferably before they know it themselves."

Tom tipped his head slightly to Janeway as she moved further into the room. "Nice to know I got some things right."

Janeway smiled slightly, "If the ship is still in one piece you got more then a few things right."

Tom was sober about the compliment, "The ship may be in one piece, but that's Torres's duty. Mine was to the crew, And the crew isn't in one piece."

Janeway almost smiled, it was a strange thing to see two sides of the same man standing before her. She was almost annoyed when the Doctor, who had just been transferred to the holodeck to check up on his patient, interrupted the moment.

"I can attest Mr. Paris, that healing a patient who does not desire to be healed is a truly touchy matter." The Doctor paused for a moment. "You, or rather Lt. Paris here, taught me that particular lesson rather effectively."

A wry smile touched Tom's face, as a red blush touched that of his double. It was an interesting conversation but not one that really had any bearing on his situation. "I think we should try to figure out how I got here, and more importantly, how I get back. While analyzing my moves up to now can be a fascinating practice, it doesn't help me get home."

Janeway sighed, her Paris wasn't normally this direct it seemed to her, apparently responsibility weighed heavily on the man's shoulders. "When we know something, you'll be the first to hear it. Frankly we don't have a clue what happened to you."

Paris stiffened, he might have imagined it but he thought he could hear a tone of rebuke in her voice. Nodding stiffly he turned back to the game.

The startled reaction around him faded as he began talking again, "Yeah, took us by surprise too. Turns out that Seska, that Bajoran b-" Tom checked himself again and counted quickly to ten before continuing, "Anyway, Seska had gone into business, selling off the Liberty's technology to the Kazon."

At this point Crewman Gerron interjected a comment, "Hold on, Seska's not Bajoran. She's a Cardie. They snuck her in as a spy."

Murmurs of assent passed around the group as Tom digested that.

"Makes sense, that's how I knew she had started her little mutiny. She sabotaged the warp engines with an old Cardie trick. The same trick... same trick-" Tom trailed off, losing his grip for a moment.

Janeway's voice interrupted his reverie once again, "The same trick they used on a Federation starship fifteen years ago. The same trick that netted them a Starfleet captain and a cadet on her first mission."

Tom just nodded.

"How did you recognize it?" Harry was still focusing on every word.
This time the story continued in Tom's voice, but from another direction. "The same way I would have recognized it, Harry. I... We studied that mission for hours--weeks. We memorized every detail that was in the reports."

Tom nodded again, then continued. "And quite a few details not in the reports."

A glance was exchanged between Tom and his double before they broke off and Tom continued, "At any rate, Seska finally sold the Liberty itself to the Kazon, giving them all the details they would need to take her relatively intact. That's when the Maquis joined Voyager, we couldn't save the Liberty. Despite the inside information, the Kazon were simply too ham-fisted about things."

"Who is serving in the command ranks?"

Tom couldn't identify the source of the question but he answered it as if Harry had requested the information. "I'm in command, Chris Rawlins is my first. Tuvok handles security and tactical, backed up by Sawra. Kim is at Ops, Chakotay is chief helmsman and the Doc, of course, is CMO. Torres, of course, handles Engineering."

He heard some chuckles and low jokes being passed around behind him, but he just continued telling Harry about his Voyager and the events that had shaped her, only occasionally wondering why Harry seemed to adamant about knowing.

It was well into gamma shift when Tom stopped talking, most of his crowd having vanished hours earlier. The only ones left were Harry, Neelix, B'Elanna, and Tuvok.

"I must admit, Mr. Paris, that I do not understand how it is that I am still chief of security on your ship rather then captain."

"Well, Tuvok, you have Captain Janeway to thank for that one," At Tuvok's crooked eyebrow Tom just smiled. "She encrypted your records and we can't access them. No proof that you are who you say you are and the crew wouldn't buy it if we sprang it on them."

"I see."

Tom turned to Harry, a questioning look on his face. "You haven't told me why you were so interested in my ship, Harry."

Harry was almost embarrassed, "I have a... a sort of an interest in alternate Voyager's. I've had a few experiences myself with alternate timelines and ships."

Harry looked uncomfortable so Tom elected not to press the subject, particularly after he glanced at his other companions and saw the same tense expression on each of them--especially B'Elanna.

Excusing himself Tom left the room, his thoughts spinning around the events of the day. Q was trying to do him a favor, but from what he knew of the Q it was doubtful he would agree with the being's motives.

Wandering the halls of Voyager Tom found himself back in Sandrine's, a place he always seemed to end up when he was preoccupied. The bar was empty now, even Sandrine was oddly absent, and the quiet was precisely what Tom was looking for. He stepped up to the bar and took a stool, looking over the selection of liqueurs behind the bar. He turned around when a noise seemed to echo behind him, but nothing was there.

"Whatt'l it be, Mac?"

The sudden voice nearly jumped him out of his skin, and only recognition kept him from cursing.

"Q." Ok, maybe he did curse after all.

"Who else?" The smirk on the being face was typical. His clothing, however, was not.

Q was sporting a white pinstriped shirt, with a dark blue bow tie and loose cuffs. He had assumed a large bushy mustache and for some reason spoke with an Irish lilt.

It was probably the look on Tom's face that did it, but Q looked oddly hurt for a moment. "I know, I know. It's not exactly in character for the locale, but have you seen the *things* male bartenders wear in France? This is much more me I think."

"Actually I think those *things* are normally considered high fashion on Earth."

Q snorted, "Like that makes them so."

Tom gave up, "Fine. Are you ready to tell me why I'm here yet?"

Q smiled. "Hardly, I'm just here to see what you think of it all."

Tom was about to retort when something stopped him, finally he decided to answer truthfully. "It's been... interesting. This ship is like a dream., is that what you wanted to show me? How much better Janeway was doing then me?"

"Humans. Why do you always assume that the Universe is a level playing field? Let me tell you something, If Janeway had been in your position Voyager would have been captured by the Kazon long ago. She's a fine captain, but she needed Chuckles to establish the unity you see around you. Her strengths lie elsewhere."

"So if that's not it, then what is it?"

"Ah Mon Capitaine, let's just say that my favorite human expression is 'careful what you wish for.'"

Tom pondered on that for a moment before he was interrupted.

"Tom?"

Turning he saw B'Elanna approaching behind him, a questioning look on her face. "Tom, I heard voices."

Quickly he turned back, but Q was long gone and the bar was empty. Save for a Irish malt liqueur and a tall glass of sparkling wine.

He quickly turned back with a smile, "Just talking with my fairy godmother." Take that you interfering sod.

"Join me?"

B'Elanna nodded and pulled up a seat beside Tom, pausing suddenly when a thought apparently struck her. "Uh, I don't mean to sound-"

"I'm the second one. From your perspective of course." He flashed her a smile and slid the glass of wine in her direction. Hey, she may as well have it.

"Thanks," B'Elanna looked at Tom's drink and the glass in front of her curiously, "Were you planning on drinking both of these?"

A low chuckle. "I wasn't planning on drinking either. My fairy godmother apparently decided I needed a stiff one."

B'Elanna waited but there was no explanation forthcoming. She lifted the glass and took a sip, "This is good! What is it?"

The eye that scrutinized the drink was experienced, "I think it's champagne, may I?" He held out his hand tentatively.

She handed him the drink and watched as he took a light sip himself, and was startled by the taste. "It's a Montclaire, very old. A 2148 I think. And it's not synthehol."

"What? How did you get that in here?"

The combination look of pleasure and hurt that crossed Tom's face was almost amusing, "Sorry to tell you, but neither I nor your Tom have those kind of resources."

"Then how?"

"My fairy godmother I said."

B'Elanna wasn't buying that particular routine, "Don't insult me with that kind of-"

Tom sighed, this B'Elanna treated him the way his B'Elanna treated everyone else. "I'm not insulting you. I assume Q dropped them off after our conversation, when he saw you coming."

"Q!? Q is your fairy-" The smothered giggles that burst from Torres were quite remarkable. I've never heard anything like that from her, that is my her... or rather my ship's her... damn I hate this. I'm going to have a headache in the morning.

"Yeah. I figure I'm good for a lightning strike or something in retaliation for that." Tom smiled the continued thoughtfully. "Probably something worse since I've told you and made it public."

B'Elanna was still smothered in her own mirth when her head finally came back up, "I'd consider it payback. You know your nickname from the Q don't you?"

Tom cocked an eyebrow, an unconscious imitation of his security officer, both in curiosity and question. He could see her deliberate on whether to tell him, and while waiting he brought his drink to his lips. A mistake B'Elanna had apparently been waiting for.

"Helmboy," she said with a sickly innocence that didn't become her at all.

Tom choked.

Trying to take a breath of indignation while drinking wasn't a good idea. The burning malt had unfortunately found its way to his lungs and seemed quite intent on bringing them both back up with it as Paris tried to cough his beath passages clear "He called me what?"

It took B'Elanna some time to answer, she had started laughing again on her own. "Not Q actually--Another one."

Tom actually looked skyward before responding, "Oh God, like I need more then one on my case."

Tom looked back down, his breathing was clearing and he found himself staring at his companion for a moment as she finished her quiet laughter and took another sip of the champagne. He had never seen Torres drink before. He had assumed that she had social drinks in the holodeck but he had never been there. They often ate together, but it was always business. She actually seemed comfortable in a more social environment. It was strange but he hadn't pictured her in anything much beyond Engineering. or the brig.

That thought brought on his own fit of chuckles and laughter.

"What?" The word was loaded with as much meaning as Tom had ever heard, and none of it was good.

"I think I'll keep my head for a while longer Torres."

Now she was really curious, and Tom could see a fury building. Not dangerous yet, but play the wrong cards...

"I'll decide if you keep your head, Paris." The threat was almost tangible, even if still at a joking stage.

"All right, all right!" Lifting his hands in mock surrender Tom paused for a second before another flare lit her face and he went on, "I've never seen you, the you from my ship, socially before. We're friends and allies, but I don't socialize as much as my counterpart here does. More work, and the wall of command that gets built around you when you captain a starship. In fact I've only really seen you in an official capacity, except for two times."

B'Elanna tapped her foot impatiently.

Tom quirked a smile, "And both of those times you decked me. Once with your fist, and the second time I woke up in Sickbay soaking wet while the Doctor picked shards of a vase out of my face."

B'Elanna's expression was priceless, and Tom couldn't decide whether he was elated to have seen it or depressed that it wasn't his B'Elanna. For an instant she looked like she'd been slapped, then almost immediately she looked so apologetic that it took all his self control to keep from laughing in her face.

"Tom! I'm so sorry!"

That was it. His face cracked and he started chuckling, much to her pique and his dismay. Only quick reflexes permitted him to duck her fist this time. Wonder what happened to those famous reflexes last time she took a shot at me?

He blocked the second shot on his outside forearm and caught the third in strong grip, "Relax Torres, I wasn't laughing at you... exactly."

The look on her face told him he didn't have long to explain, "Torres, you were apologizing for something you didn't do! Hell you weren't even in the same *universe*! It was funny!"

Thankfully that stopped her, although he held her wrist for a while longer to make certain it had sunk in. Finally he dropped her hand, still eyeing her warily.

"Sorry."

Tom smiled, it was simple but he was pretty sure she meant it. "No problem, Lieutenant, I'm lucky your counterpart decided to slug me rather then follow through on her impulses to nail Carey."

"I... she didn't hit Carey?"

"Nope, she checked her fist about an inch from his nose. You hit him?"

Torres looked chagrined, "I checked my fist about an inch past his nose. He spent a while in Sickbay."

Tom nodded, his face went slightly wistful, "She told me that she didn't want to cause me any more problems than I already had."

"Sounds like she respects you."

Tom smiled again, his face largely unchanged, "Maybe. She and I had a lot in common in the beginning. Until the Maquis came aboard it was her, I, and Starfleet."

He smiled wider. "Then she decked me with the vase, and she suddenly became very popular with the crew."

He got what he was fishing for, she laughed again. "You look good when you laugh, I have to try and get her to do that more often."

Her laughter sobered up, and the silence drew out for long moments as the two of them suddenly concentrated on their drinks.

At length B'Elanna spoke again. "Funny how sometimes a conversation can turn serious suddenly."

"Yeah."

Another long silence as the level of liquid in their drinks dropped again. Tom wasn't sure what was happening here but it felt familiar. B'Elanna was just staring into her drink as if something very interesting was at the bottom of the glass. A thought occurred to him, something he wanted to ask her, so he turned his head toward her.

"B'Elanna?"

"Yes Tom?" Her head pivoted toward him and he stared down into her eyes for a second before remembering his question.

"I wanted to ask you a question, about something Harry said earlier."

"Yes?"

"When he said that he had experience with alternate Voyagers everyone tensed up." Tom paused for a second, watching B'Elanna do exactly the same as she did earlier, "especially you. Why is that?"

Torres took a long time to respond, and for a long moment Paris was certain he had seen the sheen of tears in her eyes. But that would have been far out of character for what he knew of the fiesty engineer.

"Harry... Well, Harry didn't exactly start from this Voyager. The ship was split into two separate vessels during an encounter a while back. I wont bore you with the details." She took a breath, as if to clear her mind, before continuing. "Harry and I, we were handling damage control when the bulkhead blew. He... I... Harry was pulled out into space. I didn't get to him on time. We picked up his double from the other ship before the Videans destroyed them."

Tom was stunned, and at a loss, "I.. I don't know what to say."

"Nothing to say Tom, I didn't get to him. He died."

I didn't get to him. Tom review her words carefully. Not 'I couldn't get to him', 'I didn't get to him.' That's dangerous.

Choosing his words carefully, "It must be hard, seeing Harry everyday after that."

B'Elanna blanked. "No, of course not. I'm happy he's here."

"I'm sure you are, but he's still a reminder of the incident isn't he? A reminder of your... failure?" Tom selected his words carefully, aiming to provoke rather then calm the fiery woman for once.
The attempt provoked something certain but not what he expected. The slim woman seemed to droop in her stool, like an aura of defeat draped suddenly around her and he had to strain very hard to hear her whispered response. "Yes."

It was more serious then he thought, if she was willing to concede defeat this quickly she was hurting badly. He reached down and pulled her up straighter on the barstool, tipping her head up until she was looking at him. "Did you try to reach him?"

A bit of fire flashed in her eyes, relieving Tom. "Of course I did."

"Then you *couldn't* save him. Not *didn't*, couldn't." Paris was serious, no sign of humor was evident in his voice or face, "And that's where you have to start. Even in your mind B'Elanna, you can't claim guilt that's not yours to bear."

"It's not that easy." The voice was almost plaintive, showing a vulnurability he had only caught glints of in his own B'Elanna.

"I know. Believe me when I say I know that. But if you let it eat at you like this soon you'll work yourself into such a state that the next time a situation like that approaches you'll freeze, and be no good to anyone, least of all yourself."

B'Elanna said nothing, she couldn't think of anything that sounded appropriate. She knew he was right, the words just hit too close to where she was living to be wrong. The silence stretched out for a long time, neither of them willing to break the moment with the wrong words. Finally B'Elanna couldn't stand the quiet any longer.

With a smile she looked up at him, his face seemed closer now. "You also your ship's councilor?"

"God forbid. I have enough trouble giving orders, they'd shoot me if I started giving advice."

Tom could actually feel the tension suddenly shatter as B'Elanna started giggling again, this time releasing the emotion that had built up. Tom could hear the pressure in her laugh, she wasn't used to talking about this. I wonder if my B'Elanna has the same secrets eating at her?

Tentativly Tom reached out a hand, gently patting Torres on the back and pulling her a little closer as the humor burned away the tension and left her again with the guilt. He was shocked when she kept moving closer until he was holding her, looking down into the wet sheen that was cover her eyes as her face got closer and their lips touched. How did we get here?

Tom didn't have time to answer his own question before he was kissing her back.

Her face was streaked with tears, and her hair was tangled, but Tom couldn't seem to look anywhere else. B'Elanna was asleep in his arms, Sandrine's still empty of holograms as well as people. What am I doing here? I have to go home soon, I can't start this now. She... we'll be hurt.

Her breathing was even and Tom hated to wake her, but gamma shift would soon be ending and the morning crew would be heading for Sandrine's to relax. Gently he shook her. "B'Elanna wake up."

She stirred slightly, her eyes opening and focusing on him as a smile drifted across her face, "Tom, I wondered for a long time what it would be like to see you first thing..."

Tom's heart stopped. I guess I'll be hurt. At least she'll have him, if he's got any brains at all.

Her eyes had closed again, then they snapped back open as her brain caught up with her mouth. "I'm... I'm sorry. I meant-"

Tom stopped her with one finger across her lips, "I know. It's ok, B'Elanna. If I could stay, I'd fight him for you. Believe that. But I can't stay, I have my own crew and friends to take care of. Come on, you have to get up and moving before the ships rumor mill gets ahold of this. I'm certain you don't need that aggravation."

Torres shook herself and got up, shakily. Tom looked at her face and strode over to the bar, reaching behind it for the damp towel he knew was there. He walked back to her and began wiping her face clear of the tear streaks with gentle strokes. B'Elanna objected briefly but Paris shut her down.

"You had a rough night. Relax, get ready for the day ahead. Let people in once in a while, you need to talk. It's a rare individual who can handle stress and guilt internally," Tom smiled, "and those who can are usually clinically insane. So don't start thinking it's a sign of strength to hold it in."

She smiled, "Coming from Tom Paris that sounds ridiculous. You, or rather, he doesn't talk to anyone about anything serious."

"And neither do I. You really want to start emulating me?"

The gently self-effacing tone caused her to smile, first at the humor but soon the smile turned sad. "Take your own advice Tom. Your crew needs you in your best form, not as a paranoid recluse from ship's activities."

Tom nodded seriously, then noticing that she looked better he motioned to the door. She nodded and and accepted the lead, walking ahead of him as they left the holodeck. Once outside they quickly split and when separate ways.

Tom went to Sickbay. He wasn't sure why, but something was drawing him toward that section of the ship. Some thought nagging at the back of his mind. Inside Sickbay was quiet, the Doc wasn't active and there was no one waiting for treatment. By Tom's reckoning Kes wasn't due until the beginning of alpha shift, which was still a few minutes away.

When Kes came into Sickbay she found Tom Paris standing in a corner of the room, just staring at the wall as if it held some great answer.

"Tom?"

He half turned, his attention broken for a moment, "Oh, Hi Kes."

"What are you doing?"

"Mostly thinking, Kes. We built up another room here for the Captain. I was just thinking about her."

"Oh," Kes seemed to be thinking about that, "I see. Does this have something to do with your visit from Q?"

Tom turned, surprise evident on his face, "How did you hear about him?"

Kes shrugged, a fluid move. "The Captain told the senior officers. Tom and Harry talked about it in the mess hall, and Neelix overheard."

Tom laughed, that sounded familiar.

"I don't know if it has anything to do with him. It's just... well, I barely knew her, and I certainly didn't have any idea of what she was capable of until I arrived here," Tom waved his arms in a motion that seemed to take in everything around him, "This ship is like a miracle to me. I really need the Captain back."

Tom stopped, his eyes suddenly unfocused, and Kes saw instantly that he had left the room without taking a step.

"Tom? Tom? What is it?"

Tom shook himself, "Those were the last words I spoke before I was dropped onto the Bridge here. That's the favor. I'm sure of it!"

Tom was moving around the room with purpose now, calling up information from the medical database. It didn't take him long to find what he needed, and when he was done he rushed out of Sickbay like a shot leaving a bewildered Kes behind him.

"And that's what I think Q is playing at, Captain."

"That's all?" Janeway was skeptical. "That doesn't sound precisely like Q."

"One of his clues was 'be careful what you wish for.', I'd lay odds that this is what he meant. Will you help?"

Janeway considered it for a moment before answering, "Yes."

"Thank you."

The two left the Captain's ready room, and headed for Sickbay.

"Computer, Activate EMH." The Captain's voice echoed through the room.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

Tom and the Captain looked at each other and smiled.

"Doctor, I want you to review a procedure for us. Please look at the following files." Tom accessed a few files for the doctor.

It didn't take the doctor very long to review the files, but by the time he was done he was considerably confused.

"Who has been injured? This is a very specialized procedure and I haven't seen any injuries of this nature."

"Captain Janeway has been injured. My Captain Janeway. We don't have a compatible donor on my ship."

"I see. You want me to remove the necessary tissue from the Captain?"

Tom nodded.

The Doctor turned to Janeway, "And do you give your consent Captain?"

"Are there any risks I should know about?"

Thinking for a moment, "Not especially, Captain. It will require a stay in Sickbay, but for no longer then two days."

The Captain nodded. "Then I give my consent."

The Doctor nodded, "Very well, I'll begin preparation. As you, I suggest, should do as well."

The procedure was relatively short, and it wasn't long before the Doctor handed a small stasis cylinder to Tom. After accepting it, with gratitude, Tom stepped back and oblivious to the audience he spoke to thin air.

"Come on, Q! I know this is why I'm here!"

There was no answer for a long moment, leaving Tom feeling like a fool in front of the others gathered here. Then the white flash temporarily blinded him, and the smug being was standing in front of him with a smirk on his face.

"Well well, Mon Capitaine. You managed to figure it out. Took you longer then I expected, considering your background. Still, as they say, you put on a good show."

Tom shook for a moment, "Shut up, Q, and get me home."

"Not so fast. I want to enjoy this." The being smirked and glanced around the room at the silent audience, "Besides, don't you want to say... goodbye?"

Tom seethed at the snarky tone, "Q...," he said in a tone that brooked no humor.

Any human would have backed off, indeed with the sole exception of his double, all the mortals in the room did take a step away from Tom. Q, unfortunately, wasn't mortal. He just stood their smirking.

"Fine." Tom turned around, he did want to say his good-byes even if he didn't like to bend to any of Q's pressures.

Moving over to Harry he smiled, "Hey, good to see you're the same in both dimensions Har, some changes you can't and shouldn't avoid, but try to remember the way you look at things now when your an admiral."

Harry smiled back, a little self depreciating but a smile at least. "You never seem to be the same from one universe to another Tom, but you always seem to be a lot more then you let people know."

"That's me Har, Mr. Camouflage."

"It might be time to drop some of that, Tom. A captain can't hide."

"I know, Harry, but luckily," Tom raised the stasis tube, "I'm not going to be the captain for long."

Harry just shook his head as Tom moved on, Turning his attention to his double. "Enjoy your posting. You have no idea how lucky you are."

His double smiled, "I think I do."

Tom's eyes flicked to Torres for a moment, "No, I don't think you do. Enjoy your life, Tom,"

Then he leaned closer and whispered low enough that only Tom could hear him.

"Take care of her. Or I'll be back."

Tom smiled at his double's instant confusion, but decided not to alleviate the poor man's confusion. He moved on before any questions were forthcoming.

"B'Elanna," he smiled at the suspicion in her face.

"What did you say to him?" her voice was as low as his response. No one save Q would be able to hear their conversation.

"I warned him to take care of you, or I'd be back."

The sudden glare in her eyes made him amend his statement, "I said 'her', not you. relax, for now he'll probably assume I meant Kes, Kim told me that he had a crush on her not too long ago. You can fill him in later."

She softened somewhat, but still looked pissed. Tom smiled at her, "I'll tell you the same thing I told him. Relax, enjoy your posting here. It's a good place to live, and a good place to be loved."

Tom did the rounds of the rest of the assembled people, finally telling Chakotay to extend his thanks and compliments to Janeway when she awoke.

"Happy now Q?"

"Ecstatic. Ready then?"

Tom grated under the being's smirk, "Yes. Let's do this."

Q raised his hands in a flourish and snapped his fingers.

His arrival, fortunately, was less dramatic then his arrival on the other Voyager. Although it caused no less commotion.

"Tom!" Harry's yell focused the attentions of the Bridge on his arrival.

"Mr. Paris!"

"Captain!"

The cries that greeted him were music to his ears. Be it ever so humble.

Tom tapped his commbadge, "Paris to Sickbay."

"Captain? Where-?"

Tom cut off the doctors query, "Prep the Captain for surgery. I have the donor tissue."

The line was very quiet for a long time, time Tom used to grab the lift and head for Sickbay, until finally the voice came back. "Yes Captain."

Tom moved quickly to Sickbay, neither running nor rushing, and yet still managing to cross the distance to Sickbay in remarkably little time. Kes was waiting for him when he entered.

"Tom, you have the tissue?"

He handed her the stasis cylinder without a word and she headed for the Doctors office. He waited. It took less then five minutes for the Doctor to come barrelling out of the small room.

"Captain, this isn't compatible tissue! Its identical! How did you get an undamaged sample?"

"You don't need to know that, Doc. Just make her well, ok?"

The Doctor wanted to argue, he could see that, but his patients welfare overruled curiosity. The Doctor vanished into Janeway's private room and Tom just left Sickbay.

Tom was wandering the halls when B'Elanna found him.

"Captain!"

He half turned, she rarely called him captain, "Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Where in the hell have you been for the past three days?"

He smiled, she wasn't pulling any punches, "On an away mission, Lieutenant"

"The closest planet is Yllia, and that's almost five light-years behind us!"

"That wasn't where I was."

B'Elanna snorted. "No kidding."

"Look, B'Elanna, I'm tired. I'm going to grab a bite and get some sleep or something."

Torres looked skeptical, "You don't want to go near the Mess hall right now. Neelix has been *creating*."

Tom groaned.

"Come on, I'll treat you to a drink or something at Sandrine's."

Tom considered refusing, but Torres was already pulling him in that direction. He gave up, an Irish malt would probably do him some good.

The holodeck doors opened and he was greeted to a full house. Tom groaned again, he had forgot the time. Chakotay and the Maquis had the place in full swing. Between the sudden silence in Sandrine's and B'Elanna tugging him into the room Tom knew he should have just gone to bed.

"Thomas!"

The silence somehow deepened after Sandrine shouted his name, even B'Elanna stopped pulling.

"Thomas, you have been gone for days! Where have you been?"

"On an away mission Sandrine," Tom gave up any attempts to leave. Sandrine's was his program, and he be damned if he was going to run.

"Another dangerous one I assume," Sandrine grabbed his elbow, moving him to a table populated by holocharacters who immediately hopped up and cleared room for him and B'Elanna.

"No more then usual."

Sandrine smiled. "They are all dangerous for you, Thomas. What would you like?"

"Bring us something to eat, Sandrine, ok?"

"But of course."

Sandrine left, and B'Elanna just stared at him. "You programmed this place?"

Tom nodded, "I used to hang out here when I was in the Academy... and after."

The Maquis around him were looking with various expressions on their face, Chakotay had strange look on his face as he surveyed his hangout. He looked like he had just ate some of Neelix's more unpalatable creations.

It didn't take long for the food to arrive, and Tom ate well. He wasn't especially hungry but it still tasted good.

"What happened Tom?"

Tom looked up at B'Elanna, debating whether to answer, "An away mission like I said. I retrieved a tissue sample needed to treat Captain Janeway."

"A tissue-? how did you manage that?"

He smiled, "I just did. It's too complicated to get into right now. I just need to relax."

Torres was silent, Tom had changed slightly and she didn't know how.

For his part Tom leaned back, willing himself to relax even as the stares in Sandrine's bored into him. He'd wait here for news from the Doc he decided. One way or another a change was coming, Sandrine's seemed a good place to meet it.

The decision lifted a weight off him, giving him the will to turn his attentions back to Torres.

"Join me for a drink?" he invited, no humor evident on his face.

She looked at him strangely, what else was she currently doing? "Sure Tom."

"Good," he smiled, it would be synthehol unfortunately, but that couldn't be helped, "Sandrine! An Irish malt, and... A Montclair 2148."

Next Up : Captain Janeway, A Starfleet warp trail, and Seska's Back...